1 


*    *    *, 


I  THANK  you. 


*    *    * 


K-CI? 


?F 


YE  TOWNE  GOSSIP 


Boye  Photo 


KENNETH  G.  BEATON  (  "K.  G.  B."  ) 


YE  TOWNE  GOSSIP 

By  «K.  C.  B." ., 

Being  Selections  from  the  Humorous 

and   Sentimental   Writings   of 

Kenneth  C.  Beaton  in  the  San 

Francisco  "Examiner"  and 

Seattle  "  Post- Intelligencer  " 


SAN  FRANCISCO 

SAMUEL  LEVINSON,  PUBLISHER 
1915 


COPYRIGHT  1915.  BY 
KENNETH  G.  BEATON 


contents 


PAGE 

Mr.  Bryan  and  the  Absent  Bean 1 

"And  I  Wasn't  Dressed" 2 

The  Ambitious  Motorcycle 3 

"I  Can't  Stand  Those  Cheerful  Callers" 4 

A  Bottle  of  Scotch  for  Father's  Weak  Heart 5 

Nearly  Bit  by  a  Ford 6 

"I  Almost  Delivered  the  Butter — But!!" 7 

"Ain't  Men  the  Nuts?" 8 

"I  Thank  You,  Mother  Dear" 9 

A  Pants  Yarn  of  Whole  Cloth 10 

Down  in  the  Valley  Where  the  Muir  Woods  Lie 11 

Nearly  a  Daddy 12 

The  Boy,  the  Man  and  the  Bicycle 13 

Souvenir  Prunes  and  Sticky  Handshakes 14 

The  Story  of  the  Blind  Man 15 

At  the  Pacific  Union  Morgue 16 

"It's  a  Rotten  Trip  to  Petaluma  on  a  Boat" 17 

Sweetheart  and  Gallant 18 

The  Tale  of  a  Cat 19 

More  About  the  Cat's  Tale 20 

"I'm  Neutral" 21 

"Why  Must  I  Lie  to  Be  Polite?" 22 

"And  I  Was  Stuck  for  the  Lunch" 23 

"He  Says  He  Licked  Me  and  He  Never  Did" 24 

The  Joy  of  Living 25 

"It's  a  Perfect  Fit  if  You  Don't  Cough" 26 

Read  This  Fast;  Without  Taking  a  Breath 27 

"You  Can  Search  Me!" 28 

"But  He  Can't  Eat  More  Than  I" 29 

"You've  Got  Me  Skinned  a  Thousand  Ways" 30 

What  the  Barber  Did  to  Me 31 

"We  Have  With  Us  Today " 32 

A   Conundrum    33 

"I  Thank  You,  Boy,  for  Six  Fine  Weeks" 34 

The  Cheery  Optimist 35 

The  Story  of  the  Wooden  Leg 36 

"It  Matters  Not  Where  Any  One  of  Us  Were  Born" 37 

"Pastor,  I  Apologize" 38 

Mothers'  Day  39 

"There's  Something  on  Me" 40 

A  Puppy  Tale 41 

"Listen,  Elsie,  I'm  in  Trouble" 42 

"And  Elsie  Didn't  Laugh" 43 

Memorial  Day 44 

"I'll  Starch  My  Socks  and  Won't  Need  Garters" 45 

Dancing  Mittens  for  Low  Neck  Gowns 46 

If.  A  New  Year's  Resolve 47 

The  Willful  Garden  Hose 48 

Those  Nurses  Are  Nice  Girls 49 

"I'll  Tell  It  to  the  Circus  Man  and  You"..                         .  50 

M22770 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     towne      gossip 


i] 


IGHTEEN  YEARS  ago. 

JJJ  IN  "MINNEAPOLIS. 

»     *     * 

I  HIRED  a  hack. 

TO  TAKE  W.  J.  Bryan. 

FROM  THE  depot. 

TO  THE  West  Hotel. 

*  *    * 

AND  I  paid  for  it. 

*  *     * 

AND  IT  cost  a  dollar. 

AND  SINCE  then. 

*     * 

EVERY  TIME  I  see  him. 

*  »    * 

IT  MAKES  me  mad. 
AND  MONDAY. 
HE^LOOKED  so  fat. 

AND  EVERYTHING. 

»    *    * 

AND  I  had  to  eat  beans. 
»     *     * 

IN  A  cafeteria. 

*  »    * 

ON  THE  fair  grounds. 

*  *    * 

OR  GO  home. 

*  *    * 

AND  NOT  see  the  fireworks. 

OR  'ANYTHING. 

*  *  * 

IF  HE^was  thin. 

I  WOULDN'T  worry. 

HE  [COULD  have  the  dollar. 

OR  THE^hack  ride. 

OR  'WHATEVER  it  is. 

IT  MAKES  me  mad. 

TO  *HAVE  a  fat  man. 

*  »     » 

OWE  ME  money. 
AND  ANYWAY. 
AFTER  ART  Smith. 
HAD  LIVED  again. 
AND  THE  Tower  of  Jewels. 
HAD  BEEN  burned. 

FOR  THE  hicks. 

•  »    » 

AND  I'D  thrown  away. 
THE  CUP  and  saucer. 

THAT  WE'D  won. 
»    *    * 

AT  THE  Japanese  village. 
AND  TD  *sat  on. 
AND  BROKE. 
WE*W*ENT  home. 


AND  I  .went^tQ  bed.;'',-*/ 

AND.  i  Wouldn't  eat. ' 

*  *    *  ,  •  *>  j  • ,  * ' '  * "  »  '   •*•" 
AT  ~  A.'ca?etcda.'   ; » *\  •  J«:  *  <r  **- 

'.     *;'  •*,  I  *'  ' 
I  HAD  a  nightmare. 

AND  DREAMED. 

»     »     » 

THAT  I'D  gone  to  lunch. 
WITH] MR.  BRYAN. 
AND  WEJD  ordered  beans. 

AND  TEA. 

»    »    » 

AND  WHILE  we  were  eating. 

*  *     * 

MR.  BRYAN  got  down. 

UNDER  THE  table. 

*  »    » 

ON  HIS  hands  and  knees. 

*  »     * 

AND  WAS  looking  around. 

ON  THE  floor. 

»    *    » 

AND  I  got  down. 

AND  SAID: 

"WHAT'S^THE  matter?" 

AND  HE  Booked  up. 

AND  SAID: 

"I'VE  LOST  a  bean." 

AND  WE^  searched. 

FOR  AN  hour. 

AND  COULDN'T  find  it. 

*         *         * 

AND  LEFT  a  sign. 

THAT*SAID: 

"IF  YOU  find  a  bean. 

"IT'S  MINE. 

"WILLIA*M  J.  BRYAN." 


I  THANK  you. 


UP  V7HERE  I  live. 
ON  JONES  street. 
THERE  ARE  four  floors. 
AND  TWO  apartments. 
ON^EACH  floor. 
AND  FRIDAY  afternoon. 

I  WAS  home  alone. 

*  »    • 

GETTING  DRESSED 

*  *    * 

T°  *GC^  °.ut  to  dinner- 
AND  THE  bell  rang. 

FROM^  DOWNSTAIRS. 

AND  1^  answered  the  little  phone. 

AND  NO^one  spoke. 

AND  THE  bell  rang. 

FOR  THE  second  time. 

AN?  \  P^hed  the  little  button. 

THAT^OPENS  the  door. 

AND  S*NEAKED  out 

TO  THE^hall  door. 

AND  OPENED  it 

AND  LOOKED  out 

AND  THERE  was  no  one  there. 

AND  TIPTOED. 

TO  THE*baluster. 

AND  LOOKED  over. 

AND  COULDN'T  see  anybody. 

AND  JUST  then. 

THE  DOOR  I  came  out. 

WAS  BLOWN  shut 

AND  THE  latchkey. 

WAS  IN  my  pocket 

IN  MY  room. 

AND  THERE  I  was. 

ONjTHEjanding  place. 

BETWEE*N  TWO  doors. 

AND  1^  daren't  go  up. 

AND  1^  daren't  go  down. 

AND  1^  wasn't  dressed. 

TO  JKEET  anybody. 

AND  I  was  so  scared. 

THAT'THE  first  person. 


TO  ARRIVE. 
WOULDN'T  BE  a  man. 
THAT^I  got  cold. 
AND  SHIVERED. 
AND  AFTER  a  while. 
THE  FRONT  door  opened. 
AWAY  DJOWNSTAIRS. 
AND  SOME  one  came  in. 
AND  1^  prayed. 

IF  *T  ^af  a  woman. 
THAT^SHE'D  stop. 
ONJTHE'first  floor. 

BUT  SHE  didn't 
»    •    » 

AN?  *?  ^asn>t  a  woman. 

IT  WAS  A.  C.  Haskin. 

WHO  LIVES  upstairs. 

AND  WHEN  I  saw  him. 

I  THREW  my  arms  around  him. 

AND  HE^  didn't  know  me. 

AND  FOUGHT. 

*  *    * 

AND  1^  had  to  tell  him. 
WHO  I  was. 
AND  HOW  it  happened. 
AND  HE^took  me  upstairs. 
AND  LOANED  me  a  pair. 

OF  HIS  own. 

*  •    * 

AND  1^  went  out 

THROUGH  THE  kitchen  door. 

AND  DOWNSTAIRS. 

AND  BROKE  the  screen. 

OFF  THE  window. 

AND  GOT  in. 

AND  WAS  late  for  dinner. 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     towne     gossip 


[3] 


kNE  HARRY  Lusk. 
*    *    • 

WHO  IS  an  electrician. 
«    *    * 

"THE  Examiner"  office. 
iND  UNTIL  yesterday. 
rAS  MY*  friend. 
>N  THAT  day. 

kJOLED  ME. 

*  *    • 

FNTO  THE  rear  seat. 

*  »    * 

A  motorcycle. 

*  *    * 

[D  PULLED  something. 
kND  SOMETHING  underneath. 

;PLODED. 

*  *    * 

fD  ALL  the  buildings. 
JEGAN  TO  run  together. 
[NTO  STREAKS. 

fD  AUTOMOBILES. 

;HOT  UP. 

*  «      * 

JUT  OF  the  pavement. 

ID  WE*NT  back. 

»    *    * 

fD  MEN  and  women. 
fD  CHILDREN. 
fD  DOGS. 

FOBBED]  UP. 

[D  WEJRE  destroyed. 

tY  THE  bombs. 

*  *    * 

rE^WJERE  throwing. 
AND  I  opened  my  mouth. 

TO  *SP*EAK. 

*  •    * 

AND  HAD  to  turn  my  head. 

*  *    * 

|TO  .CLOSE  it. 
iAND  PRAYED. 
ITHAT^SOMETHING. 

i  WOULD  [HAPPEN. 

ITO^HARRY. 
(AND  LEAVE  me. 

IAND  THEN. 

*  *    * 

I  LET  go. 

WITH^MY  hands. 

AND  REACHED  for  my  knife. 

TO  [STAB  him. 

IN  THE  back. 


Ill 

AND  WE  hit  something. 
AND  WHEN  I  came  down. 
HARRY  HAD  gone. 
WITH] MY  seat. 

AND  I  had  landed. 

*  »    » 

ON  A  concrete  base. 

THAT  DIDN'T  give. 

*  *    » 

AND  I  grunted. 

*  »    * 

LIKE  A  pig. 

AND  A  little  man. 

*  *    * 

CAME  OUT  of  a  house. 

AT  *SA*N  Jose. 

«    *    * 

OR  LOS  Angeles. 

*  »    * 

OR  SAN  JMego. 

OR  *WHE*REVER  it  was. 

AND  SAID: 

"WHAT'S^  THE  matter?" 

AND  I.said: 

"I  CAME*  this  far. 

"WITH  A  friend. 

"WHO^HAS  to  be  in  Mexico. 

«IN*AN  hour." 

AND  THE  man  said: 

"HE*LL  HAVE  to  go  some." 

*  *    * 

AND  I  said: 

*  *    * 

"HE^IS. 

"HE*  S  *THERE  now." 

*  •    • 

AND  THERE'S  just  one  thing. 
THA/TS  WORSE. 
THAN*  RIDING  a  motorcycle. 
AND  THAT'S  letting  go. 
LIKE  I  d*id. 


I  THANK  you. 


[4] 


y 


towne     gossip 


IT  WAS  Friday  morning. 
AND  I  was  still  sick. 
AND  FULL  of  lemonade. 
THAT^WAS  hot. 
WHEN  I^took  it 
AND  1^  hadn't  sweat. 
AND  I  was  cold. 
AND  GOOSE  pimply. 
AND  EVERYTHING. 

*         #         * 

AND  THE  bell  rang. 

AND  IT  was  a  friend  of  mine. 

AND  HE  wanted  to  see  me. 

AND  HE^came  up. 

AND  I^was  glad. 

BECAUSE  ALWAYS. 

HE'S  FULL  of  fun. 

AND  TELLS  stories. 

AND  LAUGHS. 

AND  HE^had  some  flowers. 

AND  FRUIT. 

AND  SAT  down. 

BY  THE  bed. 

AND  HE^didn't  smile. 

OR  ANYTHING. 

HE^SHOOK  hands. 

AND  SAID  he  was  sorry. 

I  WAS*  sick. 

AND  THAT  the  last  time. 

HE'D  CALLED. 

*  *    » 

ON^A  sick  friend. 
HE'D  NEVER  forget  it. 

IT  WAS  so  sad. 

*  *     * 

HE  HAD  such  a  nice  wife. 

*  *     * 

AND  WAS  so  happy. 
AND  IT  was  all  so  sudden. 
AND  AFTERWARDS. 

*         *         * 

IT  WAS  discovered. 
THAT*HE'D  left  no  will. 

AND  THE  poor  wife. 

*  *     * 

HE  /ELT  so  sorry  for  her. 
IT  WAS  an  awful  mess. 


IT  WAS  a  shame. 

FOR  A  man. 

NOT  TOJiave  a  will. 

YOU  NEVER  can  tell. 

AND  DID  I  like  the  flowers? 

HE'D  JUST  got  them. 

FROM^THE  one-armed  man. 

ON  ^GRANT  avenue. 

HE^WAS^such  a  nice  man. 

AND  SO  ^reasonable. 

A  MONTH  ago. 

HE'D  BOUGHT  a  big  wreath. 

FROM^THE  same  man. 

WITH*"R*EST  in  Peace." 

ACROSS  THE  front. 

*     *     * 

AND  ALL  he  charged. 

WAS  $7.  * 

»    *    * 

AND  IT  was  such  a  nice  wreath, 
AND  IF  I  ever  bought  flowers. 
I  MUST  buy  them. 
FROM*  HIM. 

*  •**•         # 

AND  HE^had  to  go  now. 
AND  HET>  be  back. 
AND  HE*left. 
AND  MY*  wife  cried. 

*  *         # 

AND  I  got  up. 
AND  GOT  dressed. 

*  #         * 

AND  CAME  downtown. 

I  CAN*T  stand. 

THOSE  CHEERFUL  callers. 


I  THANK  you. 


Dear  K.  C.  B.— May  I  suggest  when  you 
ike  those  boys  out  for  a  chat  that  you  dis- 
ense  with  the  cigar  that  is  shown  in  the 
louth  of  that  good  man  who  appears  just 
efore  "I  thank  you"?  You  would  not,  I 
m  «ure,  encourage  this  in  the  mother's 
:>ys~whom  you  take  for  a  stroll  beside  that 
rook  and  play  bear  with;  nor  would  you 
-3  influence  the  older  boys.  You  may  not 
moke,  but  if  you  do,  hide  that  cigar,  just 
or  a  day,  and  I'll  thank  you.  B.  A.  C. 


YEARS  AGO. 
WHEN  I  was  a  boy. 
*     *     * 

USED  to  belong. 
TO  THE  Band  of  Hope. 
\ND  ON^  Friday  night. 
DF  *EVERY  week. 

•  »      » 

WE'D  MEET  in  a  room. 

•  *     * 

IN  THE  Sunday  school. 
AND  STAND  on  our  feet. 
AND  RAISE  our  hands. 

WHILE  THE  minister  stood. 
»     «     » 

ON  THE  platform  above. 

•  *     • 

AND  WE'D  say  after  him. 
A  WHOLE  lot  of  stuff. 
THAT^SO  long  as  we  lived. 
WE  NEVER  would  use. 

A  CIGAR*. 

•  •    • 

OR  A  pipe. 

«     *     * 

OR  A  cigarette. 

•  *     * 

AND  WE  never  would  drink. 

•  »     » 

OR  DO  anything  else. 
WITH^TOBACCO. 
OR  ^WHISKY. 
AND  THEN  after  that. 

WET)  *PLAY  hide-and-go-seek. 

•  *     • 

FOR  AN  hour  or  so. 

AND  ONE  night. 

WE^DID^that. 

AND  CROF  Goffatt  was  "it." 

AND  I*  hi'd  away. 

IN  A  sjied. 

IN  TH*E  rear. 

•  •    • 

OF  THE  minister's  house. 

•  •     • 

AND  THE  curtains  were  up. 
AND  CRAWFORD  he  knew. 


JUST  WHERE  I  would  hide. 
HE'D  HID  there  himself. 
AND  HE  dug  me  right  out 

AND  WE  started  to  go. 

*  *     • 

SO  I  could  be  "it" 
AND  WE^  stopped. 

AND  LOOKED  in. 

*  *     * 

TO  THE  minister's  house. 

*  *     * 

AND  THERE  was  the  minister. 
AND  WITH  him. 

*         *         * 

THE  MAN. 

WHO  TAUGHT  Bible  class. 

*  *    * 

IN  THE  church  Sunday  school. 

*  »     * 

WITH  A  couple  of  pipes. 

*  *     * 

AND  A  bottle  of  Scotch. 

OR  *WHA*TEVER  it  was. 

*  *    • 

BUT  I'M  sure  it  was  Scotch. 

*  *     • 

FOR  WE  had  some  at  home. 
FOR  FATHER'S  weak  heart. 

AND  EVER  since  then. 

»     *     * 

THAT  BAND  of  Hope  thing. 

*  »     * 

WAS  A  sort  of  a  joke. 
WITH* BOTH  Crawford. 

AND  ME! 

*  *     * 

AND  IT  wouldn't  have  been. 

»     *     * 

IF  THEY'D  been  on  the  square. 
AND  JUST  told  us  how  harmful. 
THESE  THINGS  were  to  boys. 
AND  TO  boys  grown  up. 

AND  THAT'S  what  I'd  do. 

*  *     * 

IF  I  borrow  these  boys. 


I  THANK  you. 


[6] 


ye     t  o  w  n  e 


s 


OME  DAY. 
I'M*  GOING  to  reach  out. 


WITH  MY  cane. 
IT'S*  GOT  a  big  crook. 

FOR  A  handle. 

*  •    • 

AND  IT'S  going  to  encircle. 

THE  NECK. 

*  *    • 

OF  A  jitney  driver. 

*  *    * 

AND  IF  the  cane  holds. 
AND  THE  neck  holds. 
WE'RE  GOING  into  an  alley. 

THE  THREE  of  us. 

*  •    • 

AND  AFTER  we're  through. 

*  *    * 

A  BIG  gray  car. 

WITH*  A  couch  in  it. 

*  •    • 

AND  A  place  for  a  doctor. 

*  »    » 

IS  GOING  to  come  in. 
TO  THE 'alley. 
AND  ONE  of  us. 
WILL^BE  lifted. 
UNTO^A^stretcher. 

AND  SLID. 

*  »    • 

INTO  THE  rear  entrance. 
OF  THE  big  car. 
AND  SOMEBODY. 
IN  THE  crowd. 
IS  GOING  to  ask. 

WHAT'S  *IT  about. 

»    *    • 

AND  I'M  going  to  tell  him. 

THAT  ALL  I  wanted. 

*  *     * 

WAS  TO  go  to  work. 

*  *    * 

AND  I    was  across  the  street. 

FROM*THE  office. 

»    »    * 

WAITING. 

*  *    * 

FOR  A  chance. 
TO  TAKE  my  life. 

IN  MY  hinds. 

»    »    • 

AND  A  policeman. 
BLEW*  HIS  whistle. 
AND  STOPPED  all  the  cars. 
ON*MAR*KET  street. 


gossip 

Hill 


AND  ^started. 

AND  WAS  half  way  over. 

*  •    • 

AND  HE^blew  it  again. 
AND  A  Ford. 
OR  *SO*METHING. 
LEAPED* AT  me. 
OUT  OF*the  flock. 
WITH[A*sign  on  it. 
"WE  GO  \nywhere." 
AND  I*  jumped. 

RIGHT  IN  front. 

*  *    • 

OF  THE  ^biggest  Buick. 
THAT*W*AS  ever  made. 
AND  GOT  excited. 
AND  COULDN'T  get  out. 
AND  HAD  to  run. 
WITH^CARS  all  around  me. 

FOR  A  block. 

»    »    » 

TILL  THEY  stopped  again. 
AND  FM^  going  to  tell  them. 
THATJTHE  man  on  the  stretcher. 
WAS  THE  driver. 
OF  THE*Ford. 

THAT*W*ENT  anywhere. 
«    *    » 

AND  THEY'RE  going  to  take  me. 
ONJTHEIR  shoulders. 
AND  PARADE. 
FROM] THE  ferry. 
TO  *THE*City  Hall. 

IT'LL  BE  a  big  day. 

*  *    * 

FOR  THE  common  people. 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     towne     gossip 


[7] 


HINEAS  ^PENDLETON. 
WHO  USED  to  haberdash. 
TO  SEATTLE'S  exclusive  set. 
BUT  WHO  didn't  like  it. 
BECAUSE  HE  had  to  keep. 

HIS*  CLOTHES  clean. 

*  *    * 

AND  SHAVE  every  day. 

AND  QUIT. 

*  *    * 

AND  WENT  into  the  country. 

*  *    * 

AND  STOLE  or  bought. 

*  *    * 

A  LOT  of  hens  and  cows. 

AND  URGED  them. 

»    •    * 

TO  JDO  their  best. 
AND  THEY  did. 
AND  STILL  are. 
DREW  UP  to  the  curb. 
WITH* HIS  automobile. 

AND  ASKED  me. 

*  •    » 

IF  I  wanted  to  ride. 

DOWNTOWN. 

*  *    * 

AND  I  looked  at  the  auto. 

*  *    » 

AND  IT  was  covered  with  signs. 
ABOUT  BUTTER  and  eggs. 

AND  THE  Redmond  creamery. 

*  *    » 

AND  HAD  a  long  box  in  the  back. 

*  *     * 

AND  I  had  on  yellow  gloves. 
AND  CARRIED  a   cane. 

AND  I  didn't  think  I'd  look  well. 

»    »    * 

IN  A  delivery  cart. 
AND  PEN  said: 
"MAYBE*YOU'RE  too  proud." 

AND  I*  was. 

»    *    * 

AND  DIDN'T  want  him  to  know  it. 

AND  GOT  in. 

*  »     * 

AND  HE^wouldn't  stop. 

UNTIL  HE'D  taken  me. 

*  »    * 

ALL  OVER  Capitol  hill. 
AND  THE  first  hill. 
AND  NORTH  Broadway. 
AND  OUT  there. 
HE  HANDED  me. 


A  PACKAGE  of  butter. 
AND  SAID: 

"YOU  RUN  into  Webster's. 
"WITH  THIS. 
"WHILE*!  go. 

"OVER  TO  Mackintosh's." 

*  *    * 

AND  I  took  my  cane. 

*  *     * 

AND  THE  yellow  gloves. 
AND  THE  butter. 
AND  IT  matched. 
WITH*  MY  gloves. 

AND  WA*LKED  up. 

*  *    * 

TO  THE  front  door. 
AND  EDGAR  L.  Webster. 
CAME  TO  the  door. 

AND  TOLD  me. 

*  *    * 

TO  TAKE  it  around  to  the  back. 
AND  I*  re*fused. 
AND  TOLD  him. 

THAT  I  expected. 

*  •    • 

EXACTLY  THE  same  treament. 

*  *    • 

WHEN  I  came  to  deliver  butter. 

*  *    • 

AS  WHEN  I  came  to  play  bridge. 
AND  AFTER  a  while. 
THE  S*ERVANTS  came  out. 

AND  PARTED  us. 

*  »    * 

AND  IT  was  easy. 
BECAUSE  WE  were. 
ALL  OVER  butter. 

AND  SLIPPERY. 

»    *     * 

AND  I  went  back  to  the  auto. 
AND  PEN  said: 
"DID  YOU  deliver  the  butter?" 
AND  I*  said:   "Part  of  it. 

"I  B*ROUGHT  part  of  it  back." 

*  »    * 

AND  WE  scraped  it  off  my  clothes. 

AND  SAVED  it. 

AND  MAYBE  you'll  get  it. 

YOU  NEVER  can  tell. 
»    *     * 


I  THANK  you. 


[8] 


ye     towne     gossip 


H 


OW  DOES  it  happen?" 

#         *         * 

I  SAID    to  Roy  Bishop. 

AT  THE  Palace. 

*  *     * 

"THAT  THERE'S  so  many. 
"PEDDLERS  OF  Turkish  rugs. 
"IN*THE  lobby?" 
AND  ROY  said: 
"THEY'RE  NOT  peddlers. 
"THEY'RE  SHRINERS." 
AND  WE  stood  around. 
AND  WATCHED. 
AND  AFTER  a  while. 

I  SAW  one. 

*  *     * 

THAT  I  used  to  know. 

*  #         * 

IN  MINNESOTA. 
AND  HE'^S  a  banker. 
AND  ATjiome. 

NOBODY  CALLS  him. 

*  #     * 

BY  HIS  first  name. 

AND  WHEN  he  rides  all  alone. 

IN  THE  back  seat. 

*  •     » 

OF  HIS  automobile. 

HE*LOOKS. 

AS  THOUGH  he  thought. 

THAT^EVERYBODY. 

WAS  TALKING  about  him. 

*  •    * 

AND  IT  was  a  terrible  shock. 

WHEN  I  saw  him. 

«    *     * 

HIS^LEGS  were  encased. 
IN  YELLOW  bloomers. 

*  *         * 

AND  HE  wore  a  shirt  waist. 

OR  *SO*METHING. 

*  *    * 

I  DON'T ^know  what. 
AND  IT  was  red. 
AND  HE^had  a  little  hat. 
WITH*A\assel. 

ON*THE  top. 

*  *    * 

AND  A  funny  little  vest. 
THATJLOOKED  like  an  ad. 

FOR  CIGARETTES. 

*  »    • 

AND  I  tried  to  imagine  him. 


BACK^AT  home. 

TELLING  A  man. 

*  *     * 

HE'D  SUBMIT  his  proposal. 
TO  JTHE^board  of  directors. 
AND  1^  couldn't. 
AND  WENT  over. 

*  *         * 

AND  WE  shook  hands. 

»    »     » 

AND  1^  tojd  him  a  story. 

ABOUT  AN  uncle. 

»     *    * 

I  USED  to  live  with. 

WHEN  I*was  a  boy. 

*  «     * 

AND  I  was  afraid  of  him. 

AND  ALWAYS  obeyed  him. 

AND  ONE  time. 

HE  *J  0*INED. 

THE  KNIGHTS  of  Pythias. 

AND  WE*NT  in  a  parade. 

*  *     * 

AND  CARRIED  a  sword. 
AND  WORE  a  big  feather. 
IN  HIS  hat 

AND  AFTER  that. 

»    *     * 

I  NEVER  paid  any  attention. 

TO  'ANYTHING  he  said. 

»   »   » 

AND  A  few  minutes  later. 
WE  W*ERE  joined. 
BY  THE  banker's  wife. 

*  #         * 

AND  HE^made  her  go  back. 
AND  CHANGE  her  hat 
BECAUSE  HE  didn't  like. 

THE  ONE  she  had  on. 

»    »     » 

IF  SHE  was  going  with  him. 
AIN'T  MEN  the  nuts? 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     t  o  w  n  e 


g  o  s  s  i 


[9] 


H 


\OR  WHAT  you  did  to  me. 


J     DEAR  MOTHER  mine. 
THAT  old  shed  back  home. 

HE  MO*RNING  I  set  fire 

*  *     * 

O  THE  Schadding  barn. 

»     *     * 

NOW  forgive  you. 

OR  THE  time. 

»    *     * 

OU  TOOK  me  by  the  ear. 

»    *     * 

HEN  I  refused  to  come. 

*  *     » 

ND  RAKE  the  leaves. 

#  *         * 

ND  LED  me  through. 

k  HOWLING,  jeering. 

»     *     * 

IOB  OF  playmates. 

>EAR]MOTHER. 

FORGIVE  you. 

*   *   * 

'OR  THE  hours  I  spent  in  closets. 
/HILE  OTHERS  played. 
,ND  FOR  the  million  chips. 
PICKED. 

*  *         * 

,S  PUNISHMENT. 

»    *    » 

,ND  FOR  the  times. 

*  *    * 

'OU  SENT  me  from  the  table. 

FORGIVE  you. 

»     *     * 

IOTHER  DEAR. 

*  »    * 

,ND  FOR  the  times. 

»    *     » 

'OU  SENT  me  back. 

»    *     » 

'O  ^WASH  behind  my  ears. 

,ND  SEARCHED  so  carefully. 

*  *    * 

lENEATH  MY  collar. 

»    »    » 

'O  ^SEE  tf  I  had  washed  my  neck. 

>EAR*MOTHER  mine. 

«    *    « 

'OR  ALL  these  things. 

NOW  forgive  you. 

»    »    » 

JND  1^  thank  you. 

IOTHER  DEAR. 

*  •    * 

'OR  THE  times  you  failed. 

'O  KEEP  your  threats. 

*  *    * 

'O  TELL  my  dad. 
>F  J5OME  misdeed  of  mine. 
'OR  YOUR  protecting  arm. 
O  MANY  times. 


WHEN  DEAR  old  Dad. 

FELT  AMOVED. 

TO  VENT  himself. 

WITH*  SLIPPER  or  hairbrush. 

I  THANK  you. 

MOTHER  DEAR. 

FOR  THE  jam. 

*  *    * 

I  ATE; 

BETWEEN  MEAL  times. 

IN  SPITE  of  rules. 

THAT  FATHER  made. 

*  *     * 

AND  FOR  the  hours. 

»    *    » 

I  SPENT  barefoot. 

»    »    » 

WHEN  THE  rain  came  down. 

*  »    » 

AND  FILLED  the  yard  with  pools. 

I  THA*NK  you. 

»    *    * 

FOR  THE  times. 
THAT\pU  declared. 
"IT'S  ALL  right,  Dad. 

"I  TOLD  him  he  could  do  it. 

»    *    * 

"IF  ANY  one's  to  blame. 

»    »    * 

"IT'S  I." 

*  »    * 

FOR  ALL  these  things. 

DEAR*MOTHER  mine. 
»    *    » 

I  SEND  to  you. 

*  »    *    * 

IN  HEAVEN. 

THE  THANKS  of  one. 

*  *    * 

WHO  ALSO  pleads  forgiveness. 
FOR  THE  thoughtless  things. 
HE  DID. ^ 

THAT*CAUSED  you  grief. 
AND  FOR  the  tears  you  shed. 
AND  NIGHTS  you  spent. 
IN  WAITING. 

AND  FINALLY. 

*  •    • 

FOR  THE  body  that  you  gave  me. 
MOTHER  MINE. 


I  THANK  you. 


[10 


t  o  w  n  e 


YOU  WOULDN'T  believe  it. 
»    *     * 
IF  I  told  you. 

THAT  D*AVE*Warfield. 
*    *    * 

AND  MOSE  Gunst 
AND  MILT  Esberg. 
SAW  A  man. 
WITHOUT  ANY  arms. 

AND  DAVE  said: 

»    »     * 

"HOW  DO  you  suppose. 
"THE  *POOR  fellow. 
"GETS^INTO  his  pants?" 
AND  MILT  said: 
"MAYBE*HE  lays  'em  down. 
"AND  *CRAWLS  into  'em." 
AND  MOSE  said: 
"HE*  COULDN'T  do  that. 
"UNLESS  THEY  were  starched." 
AND  DAVE  said: 


^  COULD  hold  the  suspenders. 
"WITH  HIS  teeth. 
"AND  JUMP  into  'em." 
AND  J*US*T  then. 
BILLY  CRANE  came  along. 
AND  THEY  asked  him. 

AND  BILLY  said. 

•  *    * 

IF  HE  was  as  young. 
AS  MILT*  Esberg. 
HE'D  SHOW  them  how. 
AND  AFTER  a  while. 
BILLY  CRANE  made  a  bet. 
WITH]  DAVE  Warfield. 

THAT*MILT  could  do  it 

•  «    • 

AND  THEY  went  upstairs. 

•  *     * 

TO  ^DAVE'S  rooms. 

AND  TIED  Milt's  arms. 

•  •    » 

AND  GOT  a  pair  of  pants. 

•  •    • 

WITH  A  pair  of  suspenders. 

AND  GIVE  'em  to  Milt. 

AND  HE*  took  'em. 

IN  HIS  teeth. 

AND  LAID  'em  down. 


AND  TRIED  to  crawl  into  'em. 
AND  COULDN'T. 

THEY  WERE  like  an  accordion. 

*  *     » 

AND  MILT  was  discouraged. 

AND  WA*NTED  to  quit. 
»    *     * 

BUT  THEY  wouldn't  untie  him. 

*  *     * 

AND  HE  carried  them  over. 

*  *     * 

TO  A  closet  door. 

AND  GOT  a  table. 

*  *    * 

AND  PUT  the  suspenders. 
OVER*THE  door. 
AND  STEPPED  off  the  table. 
AND  MISSED. 

WITH* ONE  leg. 

»    •    » 

AND  THE  other  went  in. 

AND  HE  doubled  up. 

*  *     » 

LIKE  A  pair  of  scissors. 

*  *     » 

AND  THE  suspenders  held. 
»    »    » 

AND  HE  couldn't  get  out. 

»    »     » 

AND  THE  rest  of  the  fellows. 

CAME*DOWN  to  the  lobby. 

*  *    * 

AND  LEFT  him  there. 
THAT'S  WHAT  they  told  me. 

WHEN  I*got  there. 

*  *     * 

AND  ASKED  me  to  print  it. 
AND  1^  said  I  would. 
BUT  IT  isn't  true. 

BECAUSE  RIGHT  after  that. 

*  *    * 

MILT  ESBERG  came  in. 

FROM*  THE  street. 

*  *    * 

WITH  HIS  arms  untied. 

*  *     * 

AND  ALL  his  clothes  on. 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     towne     gossip 


[in 


DOWN  IN^the  valley. 
WHERE]  THE. 

UIR^WOODS  lie. 
E^WANDERED  yesterday. 

HE  THREE  of  us. 

*  *    * 

BOY. 

*  *    * 

GIRL. 

#         *         » 

ND  I. 

.ND  STARTED  off. 

*  +    * 

HE  THREE  of  us. 

*  »    * 

ITH^LAUGH. 

D  JEST." 
.ND  REACHED  the   point. 
HERE  TOWERING  trees. 

OR  CENTURIES. 

*  *    * 

[AVE^MADE  their  fight. 

'H*OTHER  trees. 

»    *    * 

KEEP  the  branch. 
'HAT^MARKS  the  top. 
ITHIN^THE  sun. 
.ND  STOOD. 

AND  SOMETHING  came. 

*  *    * 

I  KNOW^not  what. 
AND  SILENCE  fell. 
UPON^OUR  tongues. 

AND  QUIET  came. 

*  •    * 

SO  THAT  the  leaves. 

*  *    * 

THAT  FORMED  the  dome. 

*         *         # 

WHEREIN  WE  stood. 
SEEMED^  PAINTED  leaves. 
AND  WE  went  on. 
AND  WHEN  it  came. 
THAT^WE  must  speak. 

WE[W*HIJSPERED. 

WHAT  WE  had  to  say. 

*  *    * 

AND  HAD  no  thought. 
THATMT  was  strange. 
UNTIL  THE  boy. 
CAME^CLOSE  to  me. 
AND  WHISPERED  still. 
AND  SAID: 


"YOU  KNOW. 

"IT'S  FUNNY,  Uncle  Ken. 

"BUT  I  just  feel. 

"THAT  IF  I  yelled. 

"I'D^RUIN  the  woods." 

AND  SO  ]l  felt. 

AND  WANDERED  on. 

AND  FOUND  a  brook. 

*  *•         * 

THAT^RAN  its  way. 

O'ER  BROKEN  bed. 

OF  NAKED  roots. 

AND  WELL-WORN  stones. 

*  *         # 

AND  WHISPERED,  too. 
AND  TOLD  its  tale. 
OF  COUNTLESS  years. 
OF  JOURNEYINGS. 
UNTO^THE  sea. 
AND  REACHED  the  point. 
WHERE  WE  must  turn. 
AND  WHISPERED  back. 

AND  T0*the  inn. 

*    *    # 

AND  SAT  us  down. 
AND  WAITRESS  came. 

WITH]SOFT-SOLED  shoes. 

AND  WHISPERING  still. 
WE^TOLD  our  wants. 
AND  THEN. 

THE  PROFANE  engine  came. 
WITH*ITS  small  cars. 
AND  CREAKING  brakes. 

AND  SPOILED  it  all. 

»    *    * 

BUT  THAT  which  lives. 
IN  MEMORY. 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     town 

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 


OjUPPOSE; 

fO  YOU  HAD  a  roll  top  desk. 

ALL  LITT*ER*ED  up. 

WITH*  MAIL. 

AND  SMELLY  pipes. 

AND  THINGS. 

AND  YOU  got  up. 

AND  LEFT  it. 

*  *    * 

FOR  A  little  while. 
AND  THEN  came  back. 
AND  FOUND  thereon. 
A  BABY*girl. 
WITH*  PAPERS. 
FOR  A  pillow. 
AND  BUNDLED  up. 

IN  FLANNELS. 

*  *    * 

CLEAN  AND  white. 
AND  PINNED  thereon. 
A  LITTLE  note. 

THAT]  SAID: 

"WE'VE  LEFT  you  this. 
"BECAUSE  WE'VE  read. 
"BETWEEN  THE  lines. 
"OF*  THINGS  you  write. 
"THAT  YOU  regret. 
"YO*U  HAVEN'T  any. 
"OF*  YOUR  own." 

I'LL  BET  right  now. 

*  *     * 

IF  YOU  came  back. 

*         *         # 

AND  FOUND  this  mite. 
OF  WOMANHOOD. 
UPON]  YOUR  desk. 
YOU'D  FIRST  grow  cold. 
AND  THEN  grow  hot. 

JUST  LIKE  I  did. 

*  *    » 

AND  RUN  around. 

AND  THEN  run  back. 

*  *     * 

AND  THEN  run  out  again. 
AND  THEN  be  followed  in. 
BY  EVERBODY. 
ON  *YOUR  floor. 


e     gossip 

linn 

AND  THEN  sit  down. 
AND  TAKE  it  up. 
AND  HOLD  it  tight. 

AND  YELL. 

*  *    * 

FOR  ALL  the  folks  to  look. 

BECAUSE  IT  smiled. 

AND  THEN. 

SUPPOSE. 

WHILE  YOU  sat  there. 

AND  WONDERED. 

WHAT  THE  mischief. 

YOU  WOULD  do. 

A  GIRL.  * 

WHO  ONE  time  worked  with  yot 

IN  OTHER  town. 

AND  THEN  one  day. 

*  *     * 

GOT  UP  and  quit. 
AND  WENT  away. 
AND  MARRIED. 
SOME  GOOD  man. 
SHOULD^  POKE. 
HER  SAUCY  face. 

WITHIN]YOUR  door. 

AND  LAUGH. 

AND  ASK  you. 

HOW  YOU  liked  her  kid. 

YOU'D  GET  right  up. 

JUST  LIKE  I  did. 

AND  HAND  it  back. 

AND  LAUGH. 

AND  TALK. 

AND  THEN  feel  lonely. 

WHEN  SHE  went  away. 

JUST  LIKE  I  did. 


I  THANK  you. 


t  o  w  n  e 

111! 


gossip 


[13] 


VER  SINCE  Sunday. 

*    *     » 

I'VE  BEEN  worrying. 
BOUT  A  small  boy. 

*         *         * 

HO  WAS  riding  a  bicycle. 
ND  RAN  into  a  man. 
N  ^MARKET  street. 
EAR#"THE  Examiner"  office. 

E  WAS  a  nice  boy. 

»     *     * 

D  I  want  him  to  know. 
HAT^IT  wasn't  his  fault. 
OT  ALL  of  it. 
HAT*THE  man. 

S  A  sort  of  a  nut. 

*  *    • 

D  GETS  excited. 
HEN  A  gun. 

R  A  submarine. 

*  *     * 

R  A  Ford. 

*  *    » 

TARTS  HIS  way. 

»    *    * 

ND  IF  the  small  boy. 
EADS  THIS. 

*  #         * 

E'LL  REMEMBER. 

*  *         * 

HAT  THE  man  saw  him. 

•»     *     * 

^ND  HE  saw  the  man. 

*  *     * 

AT  THE  same  moment. 

*  *     * 

AND  I  can  remember. 
WHEN  I^was  a  boy. 
AND  BOUGHT  a  bicycle. 
AND  WAS  learning  to  ride. 

THAT*EVERY  time. 

*  *    * 

I  LOOKED  right  at  a  man. 

I  HIT  [him. 

I  COULDN'T  help  it. 

I'D  CHASE  him. 

TO  THE  sidewalk. 

OR  ANYWHERE. 

*  *         * 

I'D  HIT  anything. 

I  LOOKED  at. 

*  *     * 

AND  I^want  the  boy. 
WHO  HIT  the  man. 

*  *         * 

ON  ^SUNDAY. 
TO  KNOW. 


THAT^THE  man  knows. 

HE  COULDN'T  help  it. 

*  *    * 

AND  I  want  him  to  forgive  him. 

FOR  WHAT  he  said. 

HE  ^SHOULDN'T  have  said  it. 

IT  WAS  Sunday. 

AND  THE  chimes  were  chiming. 

AND  EVERYTHING. 

WAS  PEACEFUL. 

AND  BESIDES. 

»    *    * 

HE  JCOULD  have  turned. 
AND  RAN. 

INSTEAD  OF  dodging. 
HEJRAN^a  whole  block 

ONE  TIME. 

*  *    * 

IN  A  flock  of  jitneys. 

AND  BEAT  them. 

AND  HE^ should  have  been  able. 

TO  OUTRUN. 

A  SMALL  boy. 

ON  A  bicycle. 

*  »     * 

AND  I  just  want  to  say. 
THAT  VlTH  all  the  kids. 
GOING  TO  the  Fair. 

*         #         * 

NEXT  FRIDAY. 

»    *    * 

I'VE  BJEEN  worried. 
ABOUT  WHAT  I  said. 
WHEN  HE  hit  me. 
I  SHOULDN'T  have  said  it. 
BUT  IT  was  the  only  thing. 
THAT  j[  could  think  of. 
AT  THE  *time. 


I  THANK  you. 


14] 


ye     t  o  w  n  e 


llllilll 

Oi  OMEBODY  SAID. 
^^        «    *    * 

|O  THERE  WAS  a  reception. 

»     *    * 

TO  MR.  Bryan. 

*  *     * 

AT  THE  California   Building. 

»     *     * 

AND  I  went  over. 

TO  SEE. 

*  *     * 

IF  HE'D  found  the  bean. 
AND  THERE  was  a  big  crowd. 
FROM*PETALUMA. 
AND  EVERYWHERE. 
AND  AFTER  a  while. 
MR* BRYAN  came  in. 
AND  S*TOOD  around. 
WHILE  A  stranger. 

SCURRIED  AROUND. 

»    *    * 

FOR  THE  committee. 
AND  HE^found  him. 

AND  BROUGHT  him  over. 

*  »     * 

AND  THE  committee  announced. 

THAT*ANYBODY. 

WHO  WANTED  to  shake  hands. 

WITH^MR.  Bryan. 

COULD  DO  it. 

IF  THEYJD  wash  their  hands. 

AND  JUST  then. 

ANOTHE*R  MAN. 

*  *    » 

WITH  A  bigger  voice. 
GOT  UP  and  said. 

THAT  THE  grand  march. 

*  *     * 

WAS  ABOUT  to  begin. 
AND  THREE  couples. 
GOT  UP.^ 

AND  THE  man  said. 
THAT*THEY'D  march. 
THROUGH  THE  exhibit  room. 
AND  EVERYBODY. 
IN  THE  parade. 
WOULD  GET  a  souvenir. 
AND  RIGHT  away. 
THERE  WAS  a  rush. 
AND  EVERYBODY. 


gossip 

Illllllllllllllllllllllll 


GOT  UP.^ 
AND  JOINED. 

AND  MR!  Bryan. 

WAS  LEFT  all  alone. 

»     »     * 

IN  THE  big  room. 

»    *    » 

AND  THE  music  started. 
AND  WE*  started. 
AND  TRIED  to  look. 
LIKE  WE  had  sense. 
AND  SOME  of  us  did. 
OR*HAD* 

WHICHEVER  IT  is. 

*  *    * 

AND  WE  went  out. 

»    »     * 

TO  JTHE^exhibit  room. 

ALL  IN  I  line. 

»     *     » 

AND  A  pretty  girl. 
GAVE^EVERYBODY. 
A  PRUNE. 

AND  WE*  all  came  back. 

*  *     * 

TO  THE  reception  room. 
AND  STOOD  around. 
AND  S*HOOK  hands. 
WITH* MR.  Bryan. 
AND  IN  a  little  while. 
His]  RIGHT  hand. 
WAS  SO  [sticky. 
AND  GOOED  up. 
WITH^  PRUNES. 
THAT^THEY  had  to  get  a  refere* 
TO  *MAK*E  'em  break. 
IN  THE  clinches. 


I  THANK  vou. 


t  o  w  n  e 


g  o  s  s 


N  FRIDAY. 

WHEN  THE  sun  was  low 

*    *    » 

.ND  TIRED  feet. 
RAGGED  WEARY  way. 
,ND  CRAWLING  trains. 

*         #         # 

OK  LUCKY  ones. 

STOOD! 
D  WORSHIPED. 

T  THE  ^shrine. 

F  [HI!M% 
HOSE  MIND  conceived. 

HE  GLORIES. 

F  THE  deep  lagoon. 

ND  PILLARS  tall. 

•  *    • 

.ND  WINDING  ways. 
UTSIDE  THE  place. 
HERE  ARTISTS  come. 
HAT^WE  might  see. 
HEIR  HANDIWORK. 

*  *         * 

ND  AS  I  stood. 
HERE  WANDERED  down. 
ITH^FALTERING  step. 
MAN.  * 

ITH^WINTER  snows. 
JPON^HIS  head. 
IN  his  hand. 
\NOTHER  HAND. 
DF  ONE.] 

WHOM  I  have  guessed. 
IAS  BEEN  his  mate. 
rHROUGH  ALL  the  years. 
rHEYJBOTH  had  come. 
VND  AS  I  watched. 

*  *         *• 

CHEY^STOPPED. 

VND  GAZED. 

*  *    * 

IT  SEEMED  to  me. 
JPON*A)orm. 
3EWED  OUT  of  stone. 
\ND  WORDS  she  spoke. 
[  COULDN'T  hear. 
BUT  I*  did  see. 


Ill 

THE  HAND  she  held. 
RELEASE  ITSELF. 
AND  THEN  reach  out. 
AND  FIND  its  way. 
O'ER  EVERY  curve. 
OF  LIMBS. 
AND  TRUNK. 
AND  FIND  the  eyes. 
AND  EARS. 
AND  MOUTH. 
AND  AS  it  was. 
I  HAD  approached. 

QUITE  NEAR  to  them. 

»    *    • 

I  HEARD  him  say. 
'TWAS]  WONDERFUL. 

AND  THEY  went  on. 

»     #     # 

AND  I  went  on. 

TO  OTHER  things. 

IN  BRONZE. 

AND  STONE. 

AND  COME  to  each. 

THE  COUPLE  stopped. 

AND  HAND  went  out. 

«    *    * 

AS  IT  had  done. 

WHEN  FIRST  I  looked. 

AND  THEN  I  left. 

AND  AS  I  did. 

I  LOOKED  into. 

THE  SIGHTLESS  eyes. 

OF  HIM  who  felt. 

AND  WANDERED. 

HOW  MUCH  more  he'd  seen. 

THAN] HURRYING  throng. 

THAT*NEVER  stopped. 


I  THANK  you. 


[16] 


ye     towne     gossip 


B 


UT  ANYWAY. 
*    *    * 

HE'S  A  nice   man. 


AND  HAS  whiskers. 

*  *     * 

AND  AN  automobile. 

AND  A  bank. 

*  *    • 

AND  CREDIT  at  the  grocery. 
AND  EVERYTHING. 

AND  THE  other  day. 

*  *    * 

HE  TOOK  me  to  lunch. 

AT  *THE*Pacific  Union  Club. 

*  *     » 

AND  IT'S  a  quiet  place. 
LIKE  THE  Muir  Woods. 
EXCEPT  *FOR  Charley  Alexander. 

AND  FRANK  Michael. 

*  *    * 

AND  THERE  were  a  dozen. 
IN  THE  party. 

AND  WE  all  started  to  whisper. 

*  *    * 

AT  THE  same  time. 
IN  THE  lobby. 

AND  S*OMEBODY  said. 

*  *    * 

WE'D  HAVE  to  be  quiet. 

*  *    • 

OR  EAT  our  lunch. 

*  »    * 

IN  A  private  room. 

AND  WE^  chose  the  latter. 

AND  DID. 

*  *    * 

AND  IT  was  all  right. 

EXCEPT  THE  salad. 

*  *    » 

THERE  WAS  something  in  it. 

*  *    * 

AND  ANYWAY. 
AFTER  LUNCH. 

SAM  MORSE. 

*  *    » 

WHO  USED  to  be  captain. 
ON  *THE*Yale  gridiron. 

SAID  TO*  me: 

*  *    * 

"I'LL  TAKE  you  downstairs. 
"AND  SHOW  you  the  tank." 
AND  I*  sa*id. 

I  THO*UGHT  I'd  seen  him. 

»     *     * 

IN  THE  card  room. 

AND  HE* said:     "No. 

*  *     * 

"I  MEAN  the  swimming  tank." 


AND  I^sajd:    "O." 
OR*"O*Hr 

WHICHE*VER  IT  is. 

*  *    * 

AND  WE  went  down. 

»    •     » 

AND  IT  was  quiet. 
»    »     » 

LIKE  A  catacomb. 

AND  I  asked  Sam. 

*  »    » 

IF  THE  water  was  cold. 

AND  HE^said: 

"WE  DON'T  know. 

"NO*BODY. 

"HAS  EVER  been  in  it." 

AND  AFTER  that. 

WE  WENT  upstairs. 

»    »    • 

AND^SAM  motioned. 

*  *    * 

TO  JBE  quiet. 
AND  WE*  tiptoed. 

INTO  THE  library. 

»    »     * 

AND  I  whispered: 

*  *    * 

"DON'T  ANY  of  the  membe 

•  EVER  COME  here?" 

»    »    * 

AND  SAM  answered. 
AND  SAI*D: 

"ONCE  THERE  was  a  man. 

*  *     » 

"WHO  USED  to  come  here 

*  •    * 

"BUT  HE  had  trouble. 

"WITH  HIS  heart. 

"AND  HE  was  afraid. 

"HE'D^DIE. 

"AND  THEY'D  never  find  h 

"AND  *HE  quit." 

AND  JUST  then. 

SOMEBO*DY  SNEEZED. 

*  *    * 

IN  THE  card  room. 
AND  WE*  left. 

UNDER  COVER. 

»    •    » 

OF  THE  excitement. 

*  * 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     towne      gossip 


WANTED  to  go  somewhere. 

FO*R  SUNDAY. 

*  *    » 

JttD  I  asked  Charlie  Coleman. 
'HE  CITY  editor. 

[D  HE  said: 

»    »     * 

[T'S  A  nice  trip. 
'O*  PETALUMA. 

IN  THE  Gold." 

*  »    * 

,ND  I  went  down. 

'O  THE*wharf. 
»    *     * 

D  GOT  aboard. 

*  *     * 

SAT  down. 

*  * 

4EAR  A  mother. 

UND  TWO  children. 

»    *     * 

^.ND  ONE  was  new. 
iND  SQUIRMED. 
;N  A  blanket. 

USID  CRIED. 

*  *    * 

kND  THE  other. 

*  *    » 

VAS  ALL  stuck  up. 
AttTH  CANDY. 

*        #         # 

VND  KEPT  pestering. 
:TS]  MOTHER. 
VHO  WAS  tired. 

^ND  DROOPY. 

*  *    » 

VND  THE  sticky  one. 

5AW  ME; 

VND  CAME  over. 

VND  TOOK  a  stick  of  candy. 


\ND  TRIED. 

*  »    » 

rO  GIVE  it  to  me. 

*  *    * 

\ND  1^  pretended. 
[  DIDN'T  see  her. 

\ND  HER  little  chin. 

*  *    » 

3EGAN  TO  quiver. 
\ND  HER  big. 

[TALIAN  EYES. 

*  *     * 

BEGAN  TO  blink. 

»    *    • 

\ND  I  couldn't  stand  it. 
SMILED. 


AND  TOOK  the  candy. 
AND  THEN  she  put. 
A  STICKY  hand. 
ON^MY  pants. 
AND  CLIMBED  up. 

ONTO  MY  knee. 

*  *     • 

AND  THE  mother  smiled. 

A  TIRED*  smile. 
»    *     » 

AND  THERE  we  were. 
THE  BOTH  of  us. 
WITH*A*kid  apiece. 
AND  THE  mother. 

COULDN'T  TALK  English. 

*  «    • 

AND  I. 

COULDNT  TALK  Italian. 

AND  MOTHER'S  kid. 

WENT  TO  sleep. 

AND  AFTER  awhile. 

MINE*DID. 

*  *    * 

AND  I  got  cramps. 
TRYING  *TO  keep  it. 

FROM  WAKING  up. 

*  »    • 

SO  IT^wouldn't  feed  me. 

MORE]  CANDY. 

AND  WHEN  I  got  off. 
A  DECKHAND  told  me. 

THAT*MY  wife. 

»    »    » 

HAD  LEFT  a  baby  bottle. 

ON  A  chair. 

*  »     * 

AND  1^  got  it. 

AND  GAVE  it  back. 

»    »    * 

TO  JHER^other  husband. 

WHO  MET  her. 

*  *    * 

IT'S  A  rotten  trip. 

TO  [PETALUMA. 

ON  A  boat. 


I  THANK  you. 


t  o  w  n  e 


YESTERDAY. 
OUT  AT  the  Fair. 

I  SAW. 

*  *     * 

A  LITTLE  woman. 
BENT*WITH  age. 

AND  ON  her  head. 

*  *     * 

THERE  SEEMED  the  snows. 
OF  COUNTLESS  seasons  lived. 

AND  WATCHED  her  bargain. 

*  *     * 

WITH  A  man. 

WHO  *ROLLS  a  chair. 

»     *     » 

ABOUT  THE  grounds. 

AND  THEN  get  in. 

AND  WATCHED  the  man. 

BEND^DOWN. 

AND  WITH  a  care. 

THAT  MOTHERS  spend. 

ON  BABES. 

*  *     * 

OR  NURSE  on  invalid. 
I  SAW*  him. 
TUCKJTHE  robe. 
ABOUT  HIS  charge. 
AND  SMILE. 
AND  SAW  her  smile. 
AND  FOLLOWED  them. 
AND  REACHED  their  side. 
IN  PASSING  throng. 
AND  LINGERED  there. 
UNKNOWN  TO  them. 
AND  WANDERED  down. 

BENEATH  THE  palms. 

*  *     * 

AND  PLAYED  the  spy. 

AND  LISTENED. 

*  »    • 

TO  THE  things  they  said. 

AND  THERE  was  joy. 

IN  BOTH  of  them. 

IN  HIM  the  joy. 

OF  GIVING  joy. 

IN 


THE  HAPPINESS. 
THAT'COMES. 


WHEN  YOUTH  forgets. 

THAT^ALL  is  youth. 

OR^FINDS. 

THERE  STILL  is  youth. 

IN  AGE.  * 

I  HEAJRD  her. 

VOICE  A]  fear. 

THAT*HE  was  tired. 

»     *     * 

AND  HEARD  him  laugh. 
AND  HEARD  her  laugh. 

WHEN  HE  declared. 

*  *     * 

THAT  HE  could  wheel. 
«     *     » 

A  LITTLE  mite. 

LIKE  HER. 

*  *     * 

THE  WHOLE  day  through. 
AND  RESTED  be. 

AT*END*of  day. 

*  *     * 

AND  SO  it  seemed. 

THAT^SHE. 

WAS  PLAYING  sweetheart. 

AND  HE. 

*         *         * 

A  GALLANT  gentleman. 
THE  WHICH  he  was. 

AND  WHEN  I  left. 

»     *     * 

I  LEFT  them. 
LAUGHING  AT  a  man. 

WHO'D  LOST  his  hat. 

«     *     » 

IN  GENTLE  zephyr. 
FROM^THE  sea. 
AND  ON^the  car. 

THAT*TOOK  me  home. 

*  *     * 

I  WATCHED  for  opportunity 

TO  GIVE  my  seat. 
»     »     * 

TO  ^SOMEONE. 
LIKE  THE  woman. 
IN  THE  chair. 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     towne     gossip 


19] 


HEARD  it  first. 

.  OU*TS*IDE  THE  kitchen  door. 

*     *     * 

HERE  MAZE  of  stairways. 
SADS  BELOW. 

OPENED  up. 
SID  FOUND. 
LITTLE  ball  of  fur. 
iAT^CRIED. 

LOOKED  at  me. 
ITH  EYES. 
iAT  BEGGED. 
)R  WHAT? 
DIDN'T  know. 
SID  TOOK  it  in. 
ND  WARMED  some  milk. 

Sf  WHICH. 

*  *     * 

r  MADE  its  way. 
flTH^BOTH  front  feet. 
ND  THEN. 

#  *         * 

fHEN  IT  had  swelled. 
0  THAT  I  feared. 
'  WOULD  burst. 
PUT  it  out  again. 

ND  HOPED. 

*  *     * 

HAT  IT^  would  find  its  home. 
WHERE'ER  IT  was. 

*  *         * 

ND  CLOSED  the  door. 

*  *     * 

ND  CLIMBED  back  into  bed. 
ND  LAY  awake. 

ND  HEARD  it  cry. 

*  *     * 

ND  THEN  got  up  again. 
ND  MADE  my  way. 

O  KITCHEN  door. 

*  *     * 

ND  TOLD  it  plainly. 
NT  MY  le*ase. 
/AS  CLAUSE. 
HAT*SAID. 
COULDNT  keep  a  cat. 

.ND  TOOK  it  down. 

*  *    * 

'WO  FLIGHTS  of  stairs. 
,ND  LEFT  it  there. 


AND  SAID. 

*  *     * 

IF  IT  must  cry. 
THAT^IT  could  cry. 

FOR  SOMEONE  else. 

*  *     * 

AND  WENT  upstairs  again. 

AND  BACK  to  bed. 

*  »     * 

AND  OFF  to  sleep. 

AND  WOKE. 

AND  HEARD  again. 
THAT^PESKY  thing. 

OUTSIDE  MY  door. 

*  *     * 

GOT  UP^again. 
AND  LET  it  in. 
AND  MADE  a  bed. 
AND  SCOLDED  it. 

AND  SAID. 

*  *     * 

THATJCN  the  morning. 
IT  MUST  go. 
AND  THEN. 

#  #         *• 

WENT  BACK  to  bed  again. 

*  *     * 

AND  IN  the  morning. 
WOKE.    ' 
AND  FOUND. 

#  *         * 

THAT  IN  the  night. 

*  »     * 

THE  BLAMED  fool  thing. 
»     *     * 

HAD  LEFT  its  bed. 
AND  THERE  it  was. 
ALL  SNUGGLED  up. 

WITH  ME. 

*  *     » 

AND  I  got  up. 
AND  TOOK  my  pen. 
AND  SCRATCHED. 


^  OUT. 
MY^COPY  of  the  lease. 
THE  CLAUSE. 
THAT^SAID. 
I  COULDN'T  keep  a  cat 


I  THANK  you. 


[20] 


ye     towne     gossip 


WHEN  NOBODY  called. 
FO*R  THE  little  cat. 
WE  HELD  a  council. 
TO  NAME  it. 
AND  A  small  boy. 

#  *         * 

WHO  IS  our  nephew. 
PIPED  UP. 

*  *         * 

AND  SAID: 

"LET'S  CALL  it  Lucy. 

"AFTER  AUNT  Lucy. 

"SHE'S  ALWAYS  crying  around. 

"ABOUT  'SOMETHING." 

AND  WE^  did. 

AND  AFTER  dinner. 

*  *     * 

WE  WERE  sitting  around. 

*  *    • 

TRYING  TO  think  of  something. 

*  »     * 

TO  KEEP  it  quiet. 

AND  COULDN'T  think. 

OF  ANYTHING  but  death. 

AND  S*OMEBODY  knocked. 

ON*THE*door. 

AND  IT  was  A.  C.  Haskin. 

WHO  LIVES  upstairs. 

*  *     * 

ONJTHE^next  floor. 

AND  HE^said: 

"I'VE  JUST  read. 

"MY  MORNING  paper. 

"AND  *YOU'VE  got  my  cat." 

AND  I*  told  him: 

"I'M  SORRY. 

"BUT  WE'VE  harbored  it. 

"FOR  A  day. 

"AND  FE*D  it. 

"AND  *IT*S  slept  here. 

"AND  [EVERYTHING. 

"AND  WE'VE  named  it  Lucy. 
"AND  WE'VE  got  to  keep  it." 
AND  HE^ laughed. 

AND  TOOK  me  by  the  hand. 

*  *     * 

AND  LED  me  out. 
INTO  THE  hall. 


AND  SAID: 

*  *     » 

"IF  ^YOU^RE  going  to  cry. 

"YO*U  *CA*N  keep  it. 
»     »     » 

"BUT  I  want  to  tell  you. 

*  «     * 

"IF^YOU^name  it  Lucy. 
"IT'LL  BE  mad. 

"WHEN  IT  grows  up." 

*  *     * 

AND  I#  thanked  him. 

AND  WENT  back. 

AND  SAID: 

"AUNT  LUCY'S  rich. 

"AND  ^SHE'S  old. 

"AND  JMAYBE. 

"SHE  WOULDN'T  like  it. 

"IF*SHE*knew. 

"THAT  WE'D  tacked  her  name 

"To]A*ca*t." 

AND  THEN  I  got  an  idea. 

AND  SAID: 

"LET'S*  CALL  it  Ben  Hur." 

AND  NOBODY  liked  it. 

AND  I  said: 

*  *    * 

"IT'S  A  good  name. 
"AND  IT*fits. 
"AND  ANYWAY. 
"IT'S  BEEN  her. 
"FOR  A  day. 
"AND  IT^  can  stand  it. 
"FOR  LIFE." 

AND  TM*the  boss. 

*  *    * 

IN  MY  own  house. 

AND  THEY  didn't  know. 

*  »    * 

WHAT  I  was  talking  about. 

*  *    • 

AND  I  had  my  way. 
AND  IT'S  Ben  Hur. 


I  THANK  you. 


t  o  w  n  e 


LONG  time  ago. 

WHEN  JIMMY  Archibald. 

»    *    * 

ADN'T  SO  many  initials. 

ND  MORE  hair. 
*     * 

WE  weren't  married. 

R  ANYTHING. 

*  *   * 

E  SLEPT  one  night. 

EHIND  A  stump. 

*  *    * 

AN  Indian  fight. 

ND  JIMMY  hadn't  any  sense. 

*  *     * 

ND  SLEPT  well. 

ND  LIKED  it. 

*  *     * 

ND  EVER  since  then. 

E'S  BEEN  a  war  correspondent. 

*  *     * 

ND  I  didn't  like  it. 

ND  DIDN'T  sleep  well. 

*  *     * 

ND  EVER  since  then. 

*  »     » 

VE  BEEN  neutral. 

ND  WEDNESDAY  night. 

*  »     » 

WENT^to  the  theatre. 
TO  *HEAR  Jimmy  talk. 

ABOUT  THE  war. 

*  *     * 

AND  HE  had  a  lot  of  pictures. 

»     *     * 

OF  THE  German  Emperor. 
AND  GERMAN  soldiers. 
AND  GERMAN  trenches. 

AND  GERMAN  everything. 

»    *    * 

AND  ALL  around  me. 

THERE  WERE  Germans. 

*  *     * 

AND  THEY  clapped  their  hands. 
AND  CHEERED. 
AND  FM^a  Canadian. 

AND  I*M*neutral. 

»    »    * 

AND  I  wanted  a  picture. 

OF  KING  George. 

*  *    * 

AND  HE  hadn't  any. 

*  »     * 

AND  IT  made  me  mad. 

«     »     » 

TILL  I  looked  around. 

*  *     * 

AND  RESTED  my  gaze. 

ON  A  motherly  face. 

THAT  SMILED  through  tears. 


AS  THE  picture  showed. 
A  CHEERING  mob. 

AND  A  last  farewell. 

*  *     » 

TO  A  German  regiment. 
BOUND  FOR  war. 

AND  MAYBE  it  was. 

*  *     » 

I  SAID  to  myself. 

THAT^SHE  was  bred. 

FROM*  THE  blood. 

THAT^FLOWS. 

THROUGH  THE  veins  of  these. 

AND  IF  she  was. 

THEN^W^HAT  would  you  have. 

IN  HE*R  heart. 

BUT  TEARS? 

AND  WHAT  on  her  face. 

BUT  A  smile. 

OF  *FA*REWELL? 

*  *     * 

IF  I  could  see. 

*  *     * 

ON  A  picture  screen. 

*  *     * 

JUST  A  glimpse. 

OF  THE*boys. 

*  *     * 

FROM  MY  old  home  town. 

*         *         * 

AS  THEY  march  away. 

»    *     » 

TO  A  grave,  maybe. 
I  MIGHT*  not  have. 

COURAGE  ENOUGH  to  smile. 

*  *    * 

BUT  THE  tears  would  come. 
THOUGH  I  be  a  man. 
AND  SO.* 


WHAT  MATTERS  it  then? 
AND  WHY  should  I  quarrel. 
WITH  MY  German  friend? 


I  THANK  you. 


[22] 


ye     towne     gossi 


WILL^  SOMEBODY. 
PLEASE*  TELL  me. 

*     *     » 

WHY  A  perfectly  good  woman. 

WHO  IS  "sanitary. 

*  *    * 

AND  EVERYTHING. 

AND  WHO  has  a  cat. 

AND  A  dog. 

*  •     * 

AND  WHO  would  never  think. 
OF  TRYING  to  make  them. 
EAT  SOMETHING. 
THEY*DIDN'T  like. 

WILL  [SOMEBODY. 

PLEASE  *TELL  me. 

WHY  THIS  woman. 

WILL*TAKE. 

PERFECTLY  GOOD  tomatoes. 

AND  PERFECTLY  good  lettuce. 

AND  MESS  them  all  over. 

*  »     * 

WITH^A  Jot  of  stuff. 
THAT*ALMOST  chokes. 
A  NORMAL  man. 
WHEN  HE  tries  to  eat  it. 
AND  THEN  look  at  you. 
AND  S*AY: 

"WHY*  SURELY. 

*  »    * 

"YOU'RE^  NOT  going  to  waste. 

"THAT  DELICIOUS  salad?" 

AND  THEN. 

WILL  *SOMEBODY  tell  me. 

WHY  THE  man. 

THE  POOR  fish. 

WI£L*LOOK  up. 

*  »      » 

AND  TRY  to  smile. 

AND  SAY: 

"I  CERTAINLY  am  not." 

AND  THEN. 

*  »    » 

LOOK^ ACROSS  at  his  wife. 

AND  SAY: 

"MY  DEAR. 

"YO*U  [MUST  get. 

"MRS.  *WHATSERNAME. 


"TO^  GIVE  you  the  receipt. 
"FOR  THIS  dressing. 
"IT'S  CERTAINLY  delicious." 
AND  THEN  eat  it. 

AND  GAG. 

*  «     * 

AND  GO^home. 

AND  SAY  to  his  wife: 

*  *     * 

"OF^  ALL^  the  rotten  stuff. 
"I  EVER*ate. 
"IT  [WAS*  that  salad. 
"OF^  MRS*.  Whatsername." 
AND  THEN  go  to  bed. 
AND  LIE  awake. 

AND  DREAM. 

*  *     » 

OF  THE  Jong  ago. 

WH*EN  HIS  mother. 

*  *    » 

WOULD  ^SET  before  him. 
A  SLICED  tomato. 
AND  SOME  lettuce. 
WITH* PEPPER  and  salt. 
AND  S*UGAR. 
AND  VINEGAR. 

AND  THANK  God. 

*  *    * 

THA/I^HE'D  lived  in  an  age. 
WHEN  THEY  fed  him  things. 
THAT*HE  liked. 


AND  THE  next  night. 

*  *    • 

GO  OUT  again. 

*  *     » 

AND  EAT  some  more. 

*  •    » 

OF  THE  gotten  stuff. 
AND  LIE. 

AND  S*AY  he  liked  it. 
WHY  DO  they  do  it? 
I  ASK*you. 


I  THANK  you. 


ND  I  telephoned. 

ACROSS  THE  bay. 

PETER  KYNE. 

»    »    » 

'HO  IS  a  real  author. 

|ND  SAID: 

*  »     * 

'VE  GOT  the  second  act. 

«    »    * 

»F  OUR  play. 

XL  TYPEWRITTEN. 

:OME  ON  over." 

*  *    » 

ND  HE  came. 

*  *     » 

ND  WE  went  to  work. 
N  JTHE^  third  act. 
ND  CHOLLY  Francisco. 
AME*DOWN  to  work. 
ND  HE^has  hay  fever. 

ND  BREATHES. 

»    *     » 

ND  WE^  couldn't  stand  it. 

ND  PETER  said: 
LET'S  GO  to  lunch. 
AND  TALK  it  over." 
1ND  WE^  went  to  Tait's. 

VHER*E  'EVERYTHING'S  quiet. 

*  *   * 

LXCEPT^FOR  the  noise. 
SAT  down. 


\ND  I#  waited  for  Peter. 

PO  *AS*K  me. 

»    *    * 

iVHAT  I^was  going  to  eat. 
\ND  HE^didn't. 
\ND  AFTER  a  while. 

C  ASKED*  him. 

*  »     » 

\ND  WAS  stuck  for  the  lunch. 

\ND  WE^  ordered. 

&ND  PETER  said: 

'AN*D  NOW  to  work. 

'WHAT'LL  WE  do. 

'WITH  THE  girl?" 

AND  I*sa*id: 

'WE'VE  GOT  to  kill  her. 

*  *    * 

"OR^  MAKE  her  take  poison. 
"OR^  SOMETHING." 
AND  WE*  argued. 


AND  AFTER  a  while. 

I  CONVINCED  Peter. 

*  *     * 

THAT^I  was  right. 

AND  HE^ agreed. 

THAT  WE  ought  to  kill  her. 

AND  WANTED  to  know. 

HOW  WE'D  do  it. 

»     *     * 

AND  I  suggested. 
THAT  IT  be  done. 

EEHIND*THE  draperies. 

*  *     * 

IN  THE  drawing  room. 
AND  PETER  agreed. 
AND  SAI*D: 

"AND  *WHAT'LL  happen. 
"AFTER  THE  murder?" 

AND  JUST  then. 

*  »    » 

A  MAN  got  up. 
»    »    » 

FROM  THE  next  table. 
»     »     * 

AND  HE  was  pale. 
»    *    * 

AND  I  thought  he  was  sick. 
AND  IN  a  little  while. 

HE  [CAME  back. 

WITH^JOHN  TAIT. 
AND  POINTED  to  us. 
AND  WHISPERED. 
AND  JOHN  laughed. 
AND  SAID: 
"DO*N'T  MIND  them. 
"THEY'RE  A  couple  of  nuts. 

"THAT  WRITE." 

*  *    * 


I  THANK  you. 


[24] 


ye     towne     gossip 


^  a  knock. 

JL    ON  THE  door. 

*     »     * 

AND  IT  opened. 

*  *     * 

AND  A  man  came  in. 

AND  SAT  down. 

AND  SMILED. 

LIKE  AN  idiot. 

AND  SAID: 

"YO*U*DON'T  know  me?" 

AND  I*  lied. 

AND  SAID  to  him: 

"I  THINK  I  do. 

»     *     * 

"BUT  I  haven't  any  memory. 

"FOR  NAMES." 

»    •    • 

AND  HE^smiled  again. 
LIKE  ANOTHER  idiot. 
AND  SAID: 

"CAN'T  YOU  guess?" 

*  *    * 

AND  I  said:     "I  might. 

*  *     » 

"BUT  THERE'S  a  hundred. 
"MILLION  PEOPLE. 

"IN  THE  United  States. 

»    »     * 

"AND  I  don't  know  how  long. 

*  »     * 

"I'LL  BE^in  San  Francisco. 
"AND  ANYWAY. 
"I  HAVE^to  work. 

"AND  I'M  married. 

*  »     * 

"AND  GO  home  nights. 
»     »    • 

"AND  IF  I  keep  on  guessing. 
"WHEN  I  get  home. 

"I'LL  HAVE  trouble." 

*  *    * 

AND  HE  kept  on  smiling. 
AND  SAID: 
"AND  YOU'VE  no  idea. 
"WHO*  I  am?" 


AND  I^said  to  him: 
"LISTEN;  FELLOW. 
"DID  YOU  come  up  here. 

"TO*  SEE*  me. 

*     »     • 

"OR#  TO  find  out. 
"WHO*  YOU  are?" 


AND  THEN  he  told  me. 
HE^WAS^Bill  Ramsay. 

FROM*ORILLIA,  Ont. 

*  *     * 

AND  I  hadn't  seen  him. 

FOR  THIRTY  years. 
»     «     * 

AND  THE  freckles  were  gone. 

AND  HIS  face  was  clean. 

»     »     » 

AND  HE  wasn't  sunburned. 

»     »     * 

AND  THE  butternut  stain. 

»     »     * 

WAS  GONE  from  his  hands. 

*  *     » 

AND  HIS  feet  weren't  bare. 

*  #         * 

AS  THEY  used  to  be. 

*  *     * 

AND  I  felt  in  his  pockets. 

*  *     * 

AND  LAUGHED  when  I  foun< 

*  »     » 

THEY^WERE  empty  of  cookie 
THAT*W*E  used  to  eat. 
WHEN  WE  sat  in  school. 

AND  WHAT  there  was  left. 

*  »     * 

OF  HIS  bushy  black  hair. 

*  *     * 

WAS  TINGED  with  gray. 

AND  WE*  fanned. 

AND  WE]  laughed. 

AND  RECALLED  the  time. 

THAT]  WE  pushed. 

SCHADDING'S  COW. 
DOWN  THE  bank. 
TO  THE  lake. 

*  *          * 

AND  THE  fight  we  had. 

IN  THE  old  church  shed. 

*  *     » 

AND  HE'S  waiting  now. 

*  «     « 

WHILE  I  finish  my  work. 
HE*SAYS  that  he  licked  me. 
AND  HE^never  did. 

AND  ANY  way. 

*  *     * 

HE  WAS  bigger  than  me. 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     towne      gossip 


N  SUNDAY. 

EARLY  *IN  the  day. 

*    *     * 

WALKED  downtown. 
ND  MET  a  man. 
N  OVERALLS. 
ITH  SOIL  of  labor. 
N  *HIS  face. 

*  *         * 

ND  HANDS  begrimed. 
ND  CARRYING. 
LITTLE  box. 
N  WHICH. 
AD  BEEN, 
is]  MIDNIGHT  lunch. 
ND  WHEN  I  spoke. 
ND  WISHED  for  him. 

*  *         * 

GOODLY  day. 

E  'WISHED  it  back. 

*  »   » 

ND  GOT  in  step. 

*  *    * 

ND  WE^  walked  on. 

ND  AS  we  talked. 

»    »     * 

E  TOLD  me. 

F  HIS  family. 
OF  THREE. 
TWO  GIRLS. 
AND  YET  a  boy. 

AND  WHAT  a  boy! 

»     *     * 

HEJLED^his  class. 

IN  STUDIES. 

*  *     * 

I'VE  FORGOTTEN  now. 
JUST  WHAT  they  were. 
AND  DID  the  chores. 

ABOUT  THE  house. 

»    »    * 

AND  THERE  was  pride. 
»    »    » 

IN  THIS^man's  step. 
AND  JOY  of  living. 

IN  HIS  tones. 

*  *     * 

AND  THEN  he  told  me. 
OF  HIS  home. 

WH*ER*E  *GREW. 

»    *    * 

A  BLADE  of  grass. 
OR  TWO* 


AND  FLOWER  beds. 

HE*WOR*KED  at  night. 
»     *     * 

IN  SOME  garage. 
AND  WHAT  of  grime. 
WAS  ON*  his  hands. 
CAME*FROM  the  cars. 

*         *         # 

HE^CLEANED. 

AND  THEN  he  left. 

*  *    » 

AND  1^  walked  on. 

AND  IN  a  block. 

*  *     * 

A  FRIEND  of  mine. 

»     *     * 

CAME^FROM  a   club. 
INTO  HIS  car. 

AND  ASKED  me  in. 

*  *     * 

AND  DROVE  me  down. 

*  *     * 

AND  ON  the  way. 

»     *     * 

HE  ^FILLED  my  ears. 

WITH  TALES  of  woe. 

*  *    * 

AND  MQANED. 

*  *    * 

AND  GROANED. 

UNTIL  I*felt. 

*  *     * 

THAT  I  had  made. 

*  *     * 

A  BIG^ rmstake. 

IN  CO*MI*NG  here. 

*  *     * 

THEN^I  got  out. 
AND  CAME  upstairs. 
AND  WONDERED. 

COULD  IT  be. 

*  »     » 

THAT^HE  who  walked. 

AND  TALKED  with  me. 
»     *     * 

COULD  BE  the  man. 

»     *     » 

WHO  CLEANED  the  car. 

*  *     * 

OF  MY  down-hearted  friend. 


I  THANK  you. 


[28] 
Illilllllllllllllli 


ye     town 


IHEARD^a  horn. 
AND  I  looked  up. 
AND  IT  was  W.  H.  Hartung. 
TREASURER  OF  the  Orpheum 

IN  HIS  Ford. 

*  *    » 

AND  I  looked  around. 

AND  COULDN'T  see  anybody. 

I  KNEW.* 

*  »     » 

AND  GOT  in. 
AND  HE*said: 
"WHERRA  YOU  going?" 
AND  I  said: 
"TO  THE  office. 
"BUT  DON'T  take  me. 
"THE  *FR*ONT  way." 
AND  HE*said: 
"HOW*LL  WE  go?" 
AND  I  said: 

"THROUGH  THE  alleys." 
AND  J*US*T  then. 

ANOTHE*R  HORN  blew. 

*  »    » 

AND  I  looked  around. 

*  •    * 

AND  IT  was  Carl  Reiter. 

*  *    • 

MANAGER  OF  the  Orpheum. 

IN  HIS  Studebaker. 

*  *     » 

AND  I  waved  to  him. 

*  *     * 

AND  HE  stopped. 

*  •     * 

AND  I  said  to  Hartung: 
"IF*YOU*don't  mind. 

"I'LL  GO*  with  Carl." 

*  *     * 

AND  HE  assured  me. 
THAT  HE  didn't  mind. 
AND  SUGGESTED. 
ANOTHER  PLACE. 

I  MIGHT  go  to. 

*  *     * 

IF  I  liked. 

*  *    * 

AND  I  got  out. 

OF  THE*Ford. 

*  *     * 

AND  PUT  all  my  weight. 

ONJTHE^step. 

AND  ALMOST. 


e     gossip 

iiiiiiliiiiliiiiiiiiiiiiii 

TURNED  IT  over. 
»     *     * 

AND  WAS  getting  in. 
TO  JTHE^Studebaker. 
WHEN  NOBODY. 

BUT  JOHN  CONSIDINE. 

*  »     * 

WHO  OWNS  the  Orpheum. 
CAME*  ALONG. 
ALL  ALONE. 

IN  THE  back  seat. 

*  *    * 

OF  A  big  Fierce-Arrow. 

*  »     » 

AND  I  waved  my  cane. 
AND  JJOHN  stopped. 
AND  1^  said  to  Carl: 
"IF*YOU*don't  mind. 

"I'LL  GO  with  John." 

*  *     » 

AND  CARL  got  mad. 

AND  SAID: 

*  *    * 

»    *    * 
AND  I^got  in. 

WITH^JOHN. 
AND  SAID: 
"HO*W*IS*  it,  John. 

"WHEN  HARTUNG. 

*  *    * 

"GETS^THE  money  first. 
"AND  JREITER. 
"GETS^IT  second. 
"AND  YOU. 

"GET  IT  last 

»    *    * 

"THAT  THERE  was  enough. 
"WHEN  IT  got  to  you. 
"FOR  A  Fierce-Arrow?" 
AND  HE*said: 
"YOU  JCAN  search  me." 

AND  I  did. 

*  *     * 

AND  GOT  a  cigar. 

*  *     * 

CP 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     t  o  w  n  e 


0 


N  YESTERDAY. 
*    »     » 

I  WENT  into  a  barber  shop. 


VND  IN*  the  chair. 

UST  NEXT  to  me. 

*  *     * 

"JO  MORE  at  ease. 

*  »    » 

THAN  I. 

N  CHAIR  I  occupied. 

ATAS  THOMAS  Fortune  Ryan. 

*  *    * 

V  MAN. 
'M*TOLD. 

*         *         * 

ATHO  COUNTS  his  millions. 

*  *    » 

I  count  my  dimes. 

ilS*  H*AI*R  was  long. 
*     * 

SO  was  mine. 

VND  SHEARS. 

*  *    » 

tfYBARBER  cut  mine  with. 
tf  ERE  SHARP  as  those. 

HAT*CUT  his  hair. 

*  *     * 

iND  WE^  were  shaved. 

'HE  BOTH  of  us. 

»    »    » 

k.ND  I  am  sure. 
'HE  S*HAVE  I  got. 
VAS  JUST  as  good. 

SHAVE  he  got. 
,ND  WHEN  the  porter. 
HINED*OUR  shoes. 

'HERE  WAS  of  gloss. 

*  *    * 

MUCH  on  mine. 
PORTER. 

PUT  ON*his. 

»    *    » 

\ND  AT^the  counter. 
HERE  ^WE  paid  our  checks. 
BILL. 

JUST  the  same. 
I  \S  MINE. 

I  \ND  DOLLAR. 

»    *     » 

j  THAT^I  paid  mine  with. 

WAS  JUST  as  big. 

\ND  ROUND. 
|  \S  HIS.  * 

\ND  TIP  I  gave. 


gossip 

•ill 


WAS  JUST  the  same. 
»     *    * 

AS  TIP  he  gave. 

AND  LATER. 

»     *     » 

IT  JUST  ^happened   so. 

THAT*IN  the  grill. 

*  *    • 

I  ATE  my  lunch. 
AT  TABLE. 
ONLY^ONE  removed. 
FROM*W*HERE  he  ate. 
AND  WHAT  he  ate. 
I  COULD*N'T  see. 
AND  DIDN'T  care. 
BUT  I*  do*  know. 

HE 'COULDN'T  eat. 

*   *   * 

A  MORSEL  more. 

THAN*W*HAT  I  ate. 

*  *    » 

FOR  IT  was  good. 
THE  DISH  I  had. 
AND  AFTER  lunch. 

HE  WENT  his  way. 

*  *    * 

AND  I  went  mine. 
AND  LATER  on. 

WHEN  NIGHT  time  came. 
»    »     * 

I  SAT^down. 

WITH* MY  borrowed  boy. 
AND  PLAYED. 
WHAT  WE  would  do. 
IF  WE  could  have. 

THOSE  MILLIONS. 

»    *    » 

RYAN^HAS. 
AND  HAVING  them. 
HE^COULDN'T  play. 
THE  GAME  we  played. 


I  THANK  you. 


30 


ye     towne      gossip 


HE  WAS  aged. 
BUT  STILL  in  youth. 
AS  YEARS. 

*         *         * 

MAKE^TOLL. 
AND  BLEARY  eyes. 
TOLD  TALES. 

OF  'SUNDRY  days. 

AND  SUNDRY  nights. 
IN  PLACES. 
WHERE  THE  wine. 
FLOWS  RED. 
AND  ON*his  head. 
A  FADED  hat. 
AND  ON^his  back. 
A  COAT.^ 

THAT^MEASURED  not. 
TO  WEAKENED  form. 
IT  CLOTHED. 
AND  SHOES  he  wore. 
THAT^HAD  been  shoes. 

ON  OTHER  feet. 

»     *     * 

AND  NOW  were  straps. 

HEVoUND  me. 

IN  THE  lobby. 

AS  I  came  upstairs. 

AND  LOOKED  at  me. 

AND  ASKED. 

IF  I  was  K.  C.  B. 

I  SAID  I^was. 

AND  THEN  he  said. 

THAT^HE  had  read. 

THAT*I  had  helped. 

A  LOT  of  folks. 

THATJtfEEDED  help. 

AND  CRIED. 

AND  TOLD  me. 

OF  THE  ^sodden. 

SADDENED  PATH. 

HIS*    FOOTPRINTS  marked. 

AND  THEN  suggested. 

THAT  I  slip  him. 


TWO  SIMOLEONS. 

*  *     * 

AND  I  rose  up. 
AND  TOLD  him. 
OF  THE  trail. 
THATj:  had  come. 
FROM*PUGET  Sound. 
OF  RAILROAD  fares. 
AND  BERTHS. 
AND  MEALS. 
AND  FURNITURE. 
AND  FREIGHT. 
AND  WEARY  round. 
OF  HUNTING  flats. 
AND  TELEPHONES. 
AND  GAS. 
AND  LIGHT. 

AND  I  could  see. 

*  *    * 

THATJHE  was  touched. 
AND  FELT  for  me. 
AND  TEARS. 

CAME  TO  his  eyes. 

*  *     * 

AS  HE  reached  down. 

INTO  THE  depths. 

OF  HIDDEN  place. 

AND  PULLED  therefrom. 

A  DJOLLAR  bill. 

AND  FORCED  it. 

UNTO^ME. 

"YOU'VE^  GOT  me  skinned. 

"A  THOUSAND  ways." 

HE  ^SAID*. 

AND  WENT  away. 


I  THANK  you,  Bo. 


31 


IF  IT  ever  happens. 
*     »     • 
THAT  I'M  a  stranger. 

IN  A  strange  town. 

»    »     * 

AND  IN  a  barber  shop. 

*  *    * 

AND  THE  barber  shaves  me. 
AND  BRUSHES  my  hair. 
AND  BOWS. 
AND  LETS  me  go. 
I'M*GOING  to  fall  over. 
ON*MY  face. 
IN  A  faint 

THERE'S  NO  such  animal. 
AS  A  barber. 

THAT  JUST  shaves  you. 
«    *    * 

AND  LETS  you  go. 
IT  CAN'T  be  done. 
THEYjRE  NOT  barbers. 
THEY'RE  HUNTERS. 
THEY*HUNT  for  dandruff. 

AND  FIND  it. 

*  *    * 

AND  TELL  you  about  it. 
AND  MAKE  you  feel. 
THAT*THEY  feel. 
THAT*YOU'RE  careless. 
ABOUT  YOUR  person. 

I  KNO*W* 

»     »     * 

FOR  I'VE  just  come. 

*  *     * 

FROM  A  barber   shop. 

I  W*ENT  "there. 

»     *    * 

FOR  A  shave. 

IT'S  ALL  I  wanted. 

*  *    * 

AND  TM^a  stranger. 

AND  HE* knew  it. 

*  *    * 

AND  HE  cut  my  hair. 

*  *    * 

AND  THEN  asked  me. 

*  *    » 

IF  HE'D  wash  it  out. 

*  *     * 

AND  I  told  him  no. 

»    *    • 

TO  LET  it  alone. 

*  *    » 

IT  WAS  coming  out. 

BY  ITSELF. 

AND  THEN  he  said: 


"IT  OUGHT  to  be  treated. 

*  *     * 

"IT'LL  ALL  come  out. 

«IF*IT  keeps  on." 

*  *     * 

AND  1^  told  him. 

I  DIDN'T  care. 

*  »    » 

IF  IT  kept  on. 

*         #         * 

AND  HE^wanted  to  singe  it. 

AND  SAID. 

*  *    * 

THAT  THE  pores  were  open. 
AND  WE*RE  bleeding. 

OR  [FIGHTING. 
OR^SOMETHING. 

I  COULDN'T  hear  him. 
HE  TALKED  so  fast. 

AND  AFTER  a  while. 

*  »    » 

HE^LETjne  go. 

AND  A  Greek. 

CAME^UP  and  hit  me. 

WITH*AjDrush. 

AND  FOLLOWED  me  around. 

AND  PICKED  little  specks. 

OFF  MY*coat. 

AND  STRAIGHTENED. 

MY^COLLAR. 

AND  BRUSHED  me. 

AND  PICKED  little  specks. 

OFF  MY*pants. 

AND  FOLLOWED  me. 

TO  THE  ^street. 

AND  WO*ULDN'T  leave  me. 

*  *    * 

TILL  I  gave  him  a  dime. 

IT  MUST  be. 

THAT  I  looked  like  a  hick. 


I  THANK  you. 


[30] 


ye     towne     gossip 


H 


E  WAS  aged. 
BUT  STILL  in  youth. 
AS  YEARS. 
MAKE*  TOLL. 
AND  BLEARY  eyes. 
TOLD*TALES. 
OF  SUNDRY  days. 
AND  SUNDRY  nights. 
IN  PLACES. 
WHERE  THE  wine. 

FLOWS  RED. 

*  *    * 

AND  ON  his  head. 

*  #         * 

A  FADED  hat. 

AND  ON  his  back. 
»     *     * 

A  COAT. 

*  *         * 

THAT^MEASURED  not. 
TO  WEAKENED  form. 

IT  CLOTHED. 

*  *    * 

AND  SHOES  he  wore. 

*  *     * 

THAT^HAD  been  shoes. 
ON  OTHER  feet. 

*  *         * 

AND  NOW  were  straps. 
HEJFOUND  me. 
IN  THE  lobby. 
AS  I  came  upstairs. 
AND  LOOKED  at  me. 
AND  ASKED. 
IF  I  was  K.  C.  B. 
I  SAID  I^was. 
AND  THEN  he  said. 
THAT^HE  had  read. 
THAT^I  had  helped. 
A  LOT  of  folks. 

*  *         # 

THAT^NEEDED  help. 
AND  CRIED. 

AND  TOLD  me. 

»     *     * 

OF  THE  sodden. 

*  *         * 

SADDENED  PATH. 

*  *     * 

HIS     FOOTPRINTS  marked. 

*  »     » 

AND  THEN  suggested. 
THAT  I  slip  him. 


TWO  SIMOLEONS. 

AND  I  rose  up. 

*  *     * 

AND  TOLD  him. 

*  *     » 

OF  THE  jrail. 

THAT  I  had  come. 

*  »     * 

FROM  PUGET  Sound. 

*  *     * 

OF  RAILROAD  fares. 
AND  BERTHS. 

AND  MEALS. 

*  *    * 

AND  FURNITURE. 
AND  FREIGHT. 
AND  WEARY  round. 
OF  HUNTING  flats. 

#  *         * 

AND  TELEPHONES. 
AND  GAS. 
AND  LIGHT. 

AND  I  could  see. 

»     *     * 

THATJHE  was  touched. 
AND  FELT  for  me. 

AND  TEARS. 

»    »    » 

CAME  TO  his  eyes. 

*  *     » 

AS  HE  reached  down. 
INTO  THE  depths. 

OF  HIDDEN  place. 

*  *    * 

AND  PULLED  therefrom. 
A  DOLLAR  bill. 

#  *         •**• 

AND  FORCED  it. 

UNTO*  ME. 

"YOU'VE*  GOT  me  skinned. 

"A  THOUSAND  ways." 

HE  [SA*ID*. 

AND  WENT  away. 


I  THANK  you,  Bo. 


t  o  w  n  e 


IF  IT  ever  happens. 
THAT  I'M  a  stranger. 

*     *     » 

IN  A  strange  town. 

*  *     » 

AND  IN  a  barber  shop. 

*  *    * 

AND  THE  barber  shaves  me. 
AND  BRUSHES  my  hair. 
AND  BOWS. 
AND  LETS  me  go. 
I'M  GOING  to  fall  over. 
ON*MY  face. 
IN  A  faint. 

THERE'S*  NO  such  animal. 

*  *    * 

AS  A  barber. 

THAT*JUST  shaves  you. 

*  »    * 

AND  LETS  you  go. 
IT  CAN'T  be  done. 

THEY'RE  NOT  barbers. 

THEY]RE  HUNTERS. 
THEY^HUNT  for  dandruff. 

AND  FIND  it. 

*  *    * 

AND  TELL  you  about  it 
AND  MAKE  you  feel. 
THAT^THEY  feel. 
THAT^YOU'RE  careless. 
ABOUT  YOUR  person. 
I  KNOW. 

*        *         * 

FOR  TVE  just  come. 
FROM^A^barber   shop. 

I  WENT  there. 

»    *     * 

FOR  A  shave. 

*  *    * 

IT'S  ALL  I  wanted. 

*  *    » 

AND  FM^a  stranger. 

AND  HE  knew  it. 
»     »    » 

AND  HE^cut  my  hair. 

AND  THEN  asked  me. 

«    *    • 

IF  HE'D  wash  it  out. 

*  *    » 

AND  I  told  him  no. 

*  *    * 

TO  LET  it  alone. 

*  *     * 

IT  WAS  coming  out. 

BY  ITSELF. 

AND  THEN  he  said: 


"IT  OUGHT  to  be  treated. 

*  »     » 

"IT'LL  ALL  come  out. 

"IF*IT*ke*eps  on." 

*  «     « 

AND  1^  told  him. 

I  DIDN'T  care. 

»    »    * 

IF  IT  kept  on. 

*  *     * 

AND  HE  wanted  to  singe  it. 

AND  SAID. 

*  «    * 

THAT  THE  pores  were  open. 

AND  WERE  bleeding. 

OR  ^FIGHTING. 

OR  [SOMETHING. 

I  COULDN'T  hear  him. 

HE  TALKED  so  fast. 

AND  AFTER  a  while. 

*  *    * 

HE^LET^me  go. 

AND  A  Greek. 

*  •    » 

CAME  UP  and  hit  me. 

WITH^A^brush. 

AND  FOLLOWED  me  around. 

AND  PICKED  little  specks. 

OFF  MY*coat 

AND  STRAIGHTENED. 

MY^COLLAR. 

AND  BRUSHED  me. 

AND  PICKED  little  specks. 

OFF  MY*pants. 

AND  FOLLOWED  me. 

TO  THE  ^street. 

AND  WOULDN'T  leave  me. 

*  *    * 

TILL  I  gave  him  a  dime. 

IT  MUST  be. 

THAT*I  looked  like  a  hick. 


I  THANK  you. 


[32] 


ye     towne     gossip 


OVER  AT  die  Press  Club. 
YESTERDAY  NOON. 
THEY^HAD  a*  luncheon. 
FOR  GOV.  Whitman. 

OF  NEW*  York. 

*  *     * 

AND  ALL  the  lawyers. 

*  *     * 

AND  ALL  the  bankers. 
AND  THE  Republicans. 
AND  POLICEMEN. 

AND  EVERYBODY. 

*  *    * 

WHO  BELONG  to  the  Press  Club. 
WERE*  THERE. 

*  *         * 

AND  WHATEVER  it  was. 

WE^ATE^it. 

AND  CLYDE  Westover. 

AROSE  AND  said: 

*  *         * 

"WE  HAVE  with  us  today. 

CHARLIE  FICKERT." 

AND  CHARLIE  got  up. 

AND  SAID. 

HE  JDIDNT  know. 

HE  ^WAS#  going  to  talk. 

AND  COUGHED. 

AND  MOVED  the  water. 

*  *         * 

AND  THE  salt. 

*  *         # 

AND  THE  pepper. 

OVER*IN  front. 

*  *     * 

OF  GO V.w  Whitman. 
AND  COUGHED. 

AND  S*AID: 

»    *    * 

"WE  HAVE  with  us  today. 

"GOV.  CHARLES  E.  Whitman." 

*  *     * 

AND  THE  Governor  got  up. 
AND  MOVED  the  water. 

AND  THE  salt. 

*  *     * 

AND  THE  pepper. 
BACK  *AGAIN. 

IN  FRONT  of  Charlie. 

*  »     * 

AND  LOVED  San  Francisco. 
AND  ITS^  people. 
AND  THE  Press  Club. 


AND  NORMAN  Mack. 

AND  CHOKED. 

*  »  * 

AND  DRANK  some  water. 

*         »         » 

AND  SAT  down. 

*  *    » 

AND  THEN  Charlie  Fickert. 

AROSE  AND  said: 

*  •    * 

"WE  HAVE  with  us  today. 

*  *     * 

"NORMAN  E.  Mack." 
AND  NORMAN  got  up. 
AND  PUT  his  right  hand. 
IN  HIS  vest  pocket. 
AND  CROSSED  his  fingers. 
AND  S*AI*D: 
"GENTLEMEN. 

"OF  THE  Press  Club. 
»    •    * 

"IT  />OES  you  honor. 
"TO]  ENTERTAIN  a  man. 
"OF^THE  caliber. 
"OF*  CHA*RLES  E.  Whitman.' 

AND  CHOKED. 

*  »    » 

AND  DRANK  some  water. 
AND  S^AT  down. 

AND  CHARLIE  Fickert 

»     *     » 

GOT  UP^again. 

AND  S*AI*D: 

"WE  HAVE  with  us  today. 

"EDWIN  *MARKH  AM." 

AND  EDWIN  got  up. 

AND  RAISED  his  glass. 

AND  SAID: 

"HE*RE'S*A  ho!" 

»     »     * 

AND  THE  party  broke  up. 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     t  o  w  n  e 


gossip 


[33] 


STROLLED. 
LA*ST  NIGHT. 
FPON*THE*Zone. 

,ND  WANDERING  feet. 

*  *    * 

,ED  ME  within. 

'HE  INCUBATOR  place. 

.ND  THERE  I  saw. 

*  *    » 

;ITS  OF  humanity. 

CA*RCE  ANY  larger. 

*  *     » 

'HAN  THE  hand  of  him. 

*  »    . 

^HO  TOLD  me. 

*  *     * 

,ND  THE  other  curious  ones. 

yHO  TRAILED  along. 

»     *     » 

tN^AIMLESS  mission. 
UCH  *AS  I. 
'HE  SECRETS. 
OUND  BY  science. 
N  ITS  work. 

'O  KEEP  and  hold. 

*  »     * 

OR  BETTER. 

*  *    * 

>R  FOR  worse. 

HE  SPARKS  of  life. 

*  *     * 

/E  GAZED  upon. 

*  *     * 

ND  I^went  out. 


^  THERE. 
NfTO  THE  throng. 
HAT^LAUGHED  its  way. 
LONG  THE  Zone. 

ND  WA*NDERED  on. 

*  *    * 

ND  HEARD  the  muttering. 

F  AN  aeroplane. 
»    *    * 

ND  SAW  Art  Smith. 

OUCH  LIPS. 

*  *    * 

r  ALMOST  seemed. 

fITH*DEATH. 

ND  WO*NDERED  why. 

HIS  STRIFE. 

*  «     » 

P  WHERE  the  babies  were. 

O  FAN  the  spark. 

*  *    * 

ND  KEEP  the  glow. 

»     »     * 

ND  I  went  on. 


AND  OUT. 

*  »     » 

AND  CAME  downtown. 

AND  MET. 

A  HUMAN  derelict. 

WHO  CRAVED  a  dime. 

*  *     * 

THAT^HE  might  eat. 
OR  DRINK. 

#  *         # 

AND  ANYWAY. 

*  *         * 

I  GAVE  it  him. 

AND  WANDERED  on. 

AND  BOUGHT  a  paper. 

FROM^A^man. 

WITH*CRIPPLED  hands. 

WHO  LO*OKED. 

AS  THOUGH. 

HE'D  REACHED  the  mark. 

OF  THREE-SCORE  ten. 

*  »    * 

AND  I  went  home. 

AND  READ. 

*  *    * 

ABOUT  A  victory. 

IN  WHICH  a  submarine. 

HAD  SUNK  a  ship. 

*  »    • 

FULL  MANNED. 

*  »    » 

AND  FILLED  with  troops. 

*  •    • 

AND  ALL  had   died. 

»    *     » 

AND  I^went  off  to  sleep. 
STILL^  WONDERING. 
WHY  THE  incubator  battle. 

ON*THE*Zone? 

*  «     * 


I  THANK  you. 


[34] 


V  e     to  w  n 


II 

S^  IX  WEEKS  ago. 
n,      FROM  'WAY  up  north. 
I  BORROWED. 
FROM  A  friend  of  mine. 
WHO  ALSO  happens. 
TO  BE  relative. 
A  BOY. 

WHOM  I  had  known. 
SINCE  FIRST  he  came. 
IN  SWADDLING  clothes. 
TO  PUT  a  light. 
IN  EYES  of  her. 
WHO  CALLS  him  son. 
AND  SWELLING  pride. 
IN  HEART  of  him. 
WHO  ISjiis  dad. 
AND  IN  those  weeks. 
THIS  BOY  and  I. 

HAVE'TRAVELED  much. 

AND  DONE  the  Zone. 
A  DOZEN  times. 
AND  SAT. 

THROUGH  FEARFUL. 
PICTURE  SHOWS. 
THAT  HE  thought  grand. 
AND  I  thought  grand. 
BECAUSE  HE  laughed. 
OR  BREATHLESS  sat. 
IN  AWFUL  fear. 
THAT*HEROINE. 
WOULD  SLIP. 
AND  FALL. 
AND  WE  have  lunched. 
LIKE  TWO  grown  men. 
AND  SOMETIME. 
HE  ^HAS  ^bought  the  lunch. 
AND  SOMETIMES  I. 
AND  WE'VE  been  down. 
THROUGH  CHINATOWN. 

AND  ON  the  border. 
»     •     * 

OF  THE  underworld. 


e     gossip 

minimi 

AND  I  have  seen. 
THAT^HE  had  seen. 
THE  WOE  and  grief. 
THAT^COMES  from  there. 
AND  EVERY  morning. 
SINCE^HE  came  to  me. 
WE'VE  WALKED  downtown. 
AND  IF  there's  subject. 
THAT* WE'VE  not  discussed. 
IT'S  BEEN  too  deep. 
FOR  BOTH  of  us. 
AND  YESTERDAY. 
HE  WENT  away. 

UPON*  A  "boat. 
•     •     • 

BACK  TO  his   home. 
AND  LEFT  me  here. 
WITHOUT  A  pal. 
UNLESS  *IT  be. 
THAT^I  can  find. 
SOME  OTHER  boy. 
WHOSE  FATHER 

*         *         * 

HAS  SO  much  to  do. 

HE  *HASNT  time. 

TO  LEARN  the  joy. 

THAT  YOUTH. 

AND  MIDDLE  age  can  find. 

IN  TAKING  youth. 

TO  MIDDLE  age. 

AND  MIDDLE  age. 

TO  YOUTH  again. 

I  THANK  you.  boy. 

FOR  SIX  fine  weeks. 


I  THANK  vou. 


ye     tow 

ill 


n  c 


o  s  s 


HAVE  a  friend. 


_L  WHO  SITS  all  day. 
AND  WEEK. 
AND  MONTH. 
'  WITHIN^A  chair. 
AND  CANNOT  walk. 

*  •         • 

AND  HANDS. 
ARE  IDLE. 
AS  A  baby's  hands. 
AND  WHERE  she  sits. 
'A  WINDOW  is. 
FROM  WHICH  she  looks. 
!UPON*THE  sea. 
AND  BUSY  streets. 
AND  YESTERDAY. 
I  CALLED  on  her. 

*  *         » 

AND  FOUND  her  smile. 
SO  FULL  of  cheer. 
THAT^LITTLE  troubles. 
THAT*!  had. 
TOOK^  WINGS. 
AND  SO  we  sat. 
AND  S^HE  told  me. 
HOW  GOOD  it  was. 

TO  HAVE  the  sea. 

«    *     * 

IN  ALL  its  moods. 

*  *     * 

TO  LOOK  upon. 
AND  HILLS  of  green. 
WHEN  RAIN  came  down. 
AND  TURNED  to  brown. 

WHEN  SUN  was  high. 

*  *     * 

AND  ON^the  street. 
SHE  POINTED  me. 
SOME^LITTLE  kids. 
BOUND  HOME. 
FROM^SCHOOL. 
AND  KNEW  them  all. 
ALTHOUGH  IT  was. 
THEY*KNEW  her  not. 

AND  NAMES  she  had. 

»    »     » 

FOR  ALL  of  them. 


AND  LOVED  them  all. 
WHICH  WASN'T  strange. 
FOR  EVERYTHING. 
WE^TALKED  about. 
IT  SEEMED  to  me. 
BORE  SOME  sweet  joy. 
INTO  HER  heart. 
SHE  LOVED  the  sun. 
AND  MOON. 
AND  STARS. 
AND  WIND  that  blew. 
THE  CURTAINS  straight 
TO  WHERE  we  sat. 

SHE  LOVED  the  fog. 

•  •     • 

FOR  LIFE  it  brought. 

TO  LAWNS. 

AND  FLOWERED  beds. 

#  »         * 

AND  NOUGHT  of  evil. 
COULD  SHE  find. 
IN  ANYTHING. 
AND  THEN  it  was. 
MY^VISIT  spent. 

I  WENT  my  way. 

*  »     » 

AND  I  had  gone. 

*  *         * 

THAT J[  might  cheer. 
THIS  FRIEND  of  mine. 
AND  CAME  away. 
WITH^MORE  of  cheer. 
THAN^I  had  had. 
AND  SO  jt  is. 
I  SAY  to  her. 


I  THANK  you. 


[36] 


ye     towne     go 


s  s  i  p 


HE  WAS  an  old  man. 
AND  HE  had  a  wooden  leg. 
*     *     * 

AND  HE^was  being  jostled. 

BY  THE  "crowd. 

*  *     * 

THAT  WAS  coming  out. 

OF  THE*fair. 

AND  MR.  Charles  L.  Davis. 

WHO  IS*a  banker. 

*  *     * 

AND  WHO  had  gone  with  me. 

*  *    * 

TO  ^SEE  Stella. 
SAID  TO*  me: 
"LET'S  GET  a  jitney. 
"AND  TAKE  him  home. 

"IT  MAY*  be. 

*  *     * 

"HE'S  AN  old  soldier." 

»     *     * 

AND  WE  hired  a  Ford. 

»     *     * 

AND  SAID  to  him: 

»     »     * 

"COME  ALONG,  father. 
"WE'LL  TAKE  you  home." 
AND  CHARLIE  helped  him. 

TO  THE  front  seat. 

»     *     * 

AND  HAD  trouble. 

WITH^THE  wooden  leg. 

AND  THE  driver  saw  it. 

AND  SAID: 

"WHAT  IS  this?" 

AND  FATHER  said: 

"IT'S  MY*  leg." 

AND  THE  driver  said: 

"IT  CAN'T  stick  out  like  that. 

"YO^U'LL]  HAVE  to  take  it  in." 

AND  CHARLIE  said: 

"LET'S  0*PEN  the  windshield. 

"AND  STICK  it  through." 

AND  I*  sajd: 

"I  WOODEN  do  that." 

AND  LAUGHED. 

I  THOUGHT  I'd  die. 

AND  WE^  did  it. 

AND  FATHER  said: 

"IF*YOU*RE  going. 


"TO^  LEAVE  it  there. 
"YOU'LL*  HAVE  to  take  it  off. 
"I'VE  GO*T  a  cramp." 
AND  WE^  unbuckled  it. 

AND  TOOK  it  off. 

*  »    * 

AND  ALL  got  in. 

*  *     *   e 

AND  CHARLIE  held  it. 
TILL  HE  got  so  nervous. 
HE  ^COULDN'T. 

AND  GAVE  it  to  me. 

*  *    * 

AND  I^kept  thinking. 
OF  FATHER. 

IN  THE  front  seat. 

WHILE  I. 

*  *    » 

WAS  IN  ^the  back  seat. 
WITH* HIS  leg. 
ON*MY  lap. 

IT  WASN'T  natural. 

»     *     » 

AND  1^  sajd  to  Charlie: 

"Yo*u  [STARTED  this. 

"YO*U'LL*HAVE  to  finish  it. 
"I'M*  GOING  to  get  out." 
AND  1^  stopped  the  car. 
AND  GOT  out. 
AND  FATHER  cried: 
"GIMME  *MY  leg." 
AND  1^  gimmied  it  to  him. 

AND  TOOK  a  car. 

*  *     * 

AND  CAME  to  the  office. 

AND  TOLD  Charlie  Upton. 

AND  HE%aid: 

"WRITE  SOMETHING  about  it." 

AND  I*  sajd: 

"IT^SOUNDS  so  silly." 

AND  HE*said: 

"IN*YOUR  column????? 

JUST  LIKE  that. 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     towne     gossip 


[37] 


I  HAVE  a<  letter. 
FROM  A  man. 
WHO  SEEMS  to  feel. 
|  RESENTMENT. 
I  BECAUSE  I  have  referred. 
j  AT  DIFFERENT  times. 
TO  JCANADA. 

AND  T0*the  fact. 

*  *     * 

|  THAT  I  was  born  there. 

*  *     * 

I  DON'T  know  why. 

*  *    * 

HE  IS  so  sore. 

*  *     * 

|  FOR  I  can't  see. 
WHAT  MATTERS  it. 

I  WH*ER*E  HE. 

*  *    * 

i  OR  I. 

*  *    • 

j  OR  ANY^one  of  us. 
WAS  BORN. 

SO  THAT. 

*  *    * 

WE^DO  not  waste. 
THE  TALENTS. 
GIVEN  US. 

*         *         * 

THE  SUN. 

THAT^SHINES  on  Canada. 

SHINES  HERE. 

AND  S*HINES  on  Bethlehem. 

THE  SJTAR. 

THAT^LED  the  shepherds. 

WITH^THEIR  gifts. 

O'ER  PATHS  in  Palestine. 

LEADS  S*HIPS. 

»     *     * 

ACROSS  THE  seas. 
TODAY.  * 

TO  *EVERY  land. 

*  *     * 

AND  MEN  today. 
WHO  ROAM  the  plains. 
AND  WOODS. 
IN  CANADA. 
OR  ^HERE. 
OR  ANYWHERE. 
USE  THIS  same  star. 
TO  GUIDE  them. 


AND  IF.  ^ 

THE  S*TAR. 

*  *    * 

THAT^LED  the  shepherds. 

LEADS  YOU. 

OR*ME.  * 

TO  ^HERE. 

ORJTHERE. 

OR  ^ANYWHERE. 

AND  IF.  * 

*  »    * 

WE  DO  our  work. 

*  *     * 

NO  ^MATTER  what  it  be. 

SO  THAT. 

*  »    » 

WE^DO  not  break. 
THE  LAWS. 
OF  GOD* 

OR  JMAN! 

IT  SEEM*S  to  me. 

THAT^HE. 

WHO  WATCHES  over  us. 

CAN  WATCH  o'er  me. 

AS  WELL. 

DOWN  HERE. 

»    *    * 

AS  UP  in  Canada. 


I  THANK  you. 


[38] 


ye     towne     gossip 


HE  BOTHER  night. 
I  WENT  to  a  banquet. 
AND  HAD  a  seat 

*  »         * 

NEXT  TO  Reuben  Hale. 

AND  HE  didn't  know  me. 

»     *     * 

BUT  HE  knew  I  was  there. 
IN  THE  crowd. 
SOMEWHERE. 

*  *         * 

AND  WE  talked  for  a  while. 

*  *         * 

IN  A  most  polite  way. 

AND  THEN  he  said: 

*  *    * 

"I  HEARD  someone  say. 
"K.  *C.*B.*WAS  here. 

*  *         * 

"DO  YOU  know  where  he  is?" 
AND  l]  sajd  I  did. 
AND  NODDED  my  head. 
TOWARD  JOHN  M.  Jackson. 
THE  PASTOR. 

OF  HAMILTON  M.  E.  Church. 

»     #     * 

AND  HEJooked  at  him. 

AND  S*AI*D  to  me: 

"HE*  D*ON'T  look  like  a  nut." 

AND  AFTER  a  while. 

*  »     * 

HE  SAID  to  me: 

"AND  WHO  are  you?" 

*  »     * 

AND  I  spoke  up. 
AND  SAID  to  him. 

THAT  I. 

*  »     » 

WAS  THE  Rev.  John  M.  Jackson. 
OF  THE  Hamilton  M.  E.  Church. 
AND  AFTER  that. 
HE  INTONED. 

EVERYTHING  HE  said. 

*  *     * 

AND  TALKED  about  churches. 

AND  SUNDAY  schools. 

*  *     * 

AND  A  lot  of  other  things. 
THAT*NEITHER  of  us. 

KNEW  ANYTHING  about. 

*  *     * 

AND  I  got  mixed  up. 

AND  TOLD  him. 

*  *     * 

I  WAS  an  Episcopalian. 


AND  I#  am. 

AND  HE* said: 

»    »     * 

"IF^YOU^RE  an  Episcopalian. 
"WHY]  DO  you  preach. 

"IN  A  Methodist  Church?" 

*    »    * 

AND  1^  had  to  get  out  of  it. 
AND  SAID: 
"IT'S  THE  only  place. 
"I  COULD  get  work." 

AND  HE*said: 

»    *     * 

"IS  IT^  customary. 
"FOR  MINISTERS. 
"TO*  SWITCH  around. 
"LIKE^THAT?" 
AND  I^said:     "Yes. 

"WE  DON'T  care  a  . 

"WHERE*  WE  work. 
"SO*  LONG  as  we're  paid." 
AND  HE  was  surprised. 
AND  SHOCKED. 

*         *         * 

AND  DIDN'T  talk  to  me. 
THE  REST  of  the  evening. 
AND  FM^  writing  this. 

SO  HE'LL  know. 

»     *    * 

HE  WAS  talking  to  me. 

»     *     * 

AND  NOT  the  minister. 
I  WJOULDN'T  want  him. 
TO  *KNOCK  Mr.  Jackson. 
IT  WOULDN'T  be  right. 
AND  I*'M*  sorry. 
AND  APOLOGIZE. 
AND  EVERYTHING. 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     towne     gossip 


[39] 


ODAY; 

IS  MOTHERS'  day. 
,ND  YOU  and  I. 
EAR  WHITE  carnations. 

N  THE  lapels. 

*  *    * 

>F  OUR  coats. 

D  THEN  forget 
.ND  HURRY  through. 
HE  GRUESOME  tale. 

#  *         * 

HAT  TELLS. 

'F  FELLOW-COUNTRYMEN. 

*  *    * 

HO  BORE  no  arms. 
AGAINST  A  fellow-man. 
jONE^DOWN. 
CO  DEATH. 

#  *         * 

BECAUSE  ONE  man. 

DF  WOMAN  born. 

»    *     * 

HAS  SO  decreed. 

^ND  THEN. 

*  »     * 

DO  I.  ^ 

\ND  OTHERS. 

SORN^BENEATH. 

CHE  S*HELTER. 

*  *    * 

DF  THE^Maple  Leaf. 

SCAN  LISTS. 

rHAT^COME  from  battlefields. 

VND  FIND  thereon. 

*  *    * 

FHE  NAMES  of  boys. 

ATE  KNEW. 

*  *    » 

\ND  I^can  see. 

rHROUG*H  ALL  the  mist. 
»    »    * 

CHAT^DIMS  the  years. 
SINGED  CHILDHOOD  days. 

CHE  MOTHERS. 

»    *    * 

3F  A  score  of  those. 
\ND  IN- the  picture. 

PHAT[I  see. 

CHEY^SEEM. 

CHE  EPITOME  of  peace. 

\ND  SO  they  were. 

*  *     * 

\ND  SO  they  are. 


AND  YET! 

THEY  BRED. 

*  *    * 

THESE  THINGS. 

*  *    * 

THAT^LIE  on  battlefields. 
AND  KILL. 
AND  DIE. 

*  *         * 

AND  NOW. 

*  *         * 

IN  LANDS. 

THAT*HAVE  been  robbed. 

OF  MEN.] 

FOR  SACRIFICE. 

THEY'RE  ASKED. 

TO  BREED. 

MORE^MEN. 

LIKE  CATTLE  breed. 

TO  J5TOP  depletion. 

OF  THE  [herds. 

THAT*GO. 

EACH*YEAR. 

TO  'SLAUGHTER  pens! 

*  *      * 

AND  WE  wear  white  carnations. 

*  *     * 

IN  OUR  buttonholes. 

WHY  NOT. 

A  BLOOD-RED  rose! 

THAT^WOULDNT  soil. 

IF  DROPPED. 

ON  BATTLEFIELD? 


[40] 


ye     towne     gossip 


SOMETHING. 

"ON  ME*,"  I  said. 

*     *     * 

TO  THE  waiter. 

*  »     » 

"THAT  I  didn't  put  on. 

*  *    * 

"AND  IF  you'll  tell  the  cook. 

*  *     * 

"TO  HOLD  my  order. 

*  *     * 

"FOR  A  little  while. 

"I'LL  BE*  back." 

*  *     » 

AND  I  went  out. 

INTO  THE  lobby. 

*  *     * 

OF  THE  Old  Faithful  Inn. 

*  *     * 

AND  FOUND  Joe  Kathrens. 

*  *     » 

WHO  IS^the  manager. 
AND  SAID: 
"LISTEN,  KATE. 
"I  MEAN,  listen,  Joe. 
"THERE'*S  SOMETHING  on  me. 

*  *         * 

"AND  WHATEVER  it  is. 
"IT*S  BEWILDERED. 

*  *         * 

"IT  CREEPS  going  all  the  time. 
"AND  *TM  nervous. 

"AND  CAN'T  eat. 

»     *     » 

"AND  I  want  a  room. 
"FOR  A  little  while." 
AND  JJOE  called  a  boy. 

A  JAPANESE  boy. 

»     *     * 

AND  SAID  to  the    boy: 

"TAKE  THE  gentleman. 

"TO^  M*Y  apartments." 

AND  HE*  did. 

AND  I*  told  him. 

WHAT  AILED  me. 

AND  HE  laughed. 

AND  SAID: 

"YO*U  *KNOW  him  flee?" 

AND  I^sajd: 

"YO*U  *KNOW  him  what?" 

AND  HE*said: 

"HIM  FLEE?" 

AND  I*sajd: 

"WHY* HIM  flee?" 


AND  HE^said: 

"WHY^HIM  flee?" 

AND  1^  said,  "Yes. 

"WHY*  HIM  flee?" 

AND  HE*said: 

"YOU  MEAN  Art  Smith. 

"HIM  FLY?" 

AND  I  said: 

"I 


^  him  flee. 
"WHAT  YOU  mean. 
"HIM  FLEE?" 
AND  HE*said: 
"HIM  FLEE?" 
AND  1^  said,  "Yes. 
"HIM  FLEE." 
AND  HE*said: 
"HIM  FLEE. 
"YO*UKNOW  him?" 
AND  l[sa*id: 
"LISTEN*  TOGO. 
"WHO*  IS  him. 
"AND  WHY  did  him  flee?" 
AND  TOGO  said: 
"WHY^YOU  come  here?" 
AND  I*  sa*id: 
"YOU  JCAN  search  me." 
AND  HE*did. 

*         *         # 

AND  FOUND  a  flea. 

AND  THEN  I  knew. 

*  *     » 

WHAT  WE'D  been  talking  about 
AND  WE^  shook  hands. 

AND  WENT  downstairs. 

*  *     * 


I  THANK  you. 


y 


e     t  o  w  n  e 


g  o  s  s  i 


P 


[41] 


I  Dear  K.  C.  B.:  We  read  your  story  about 
he  cat  and  liked  it  very  much,  and  that 
Light  father  brought  home  a  little  puppy, 
ind  when  we  were  talking  about  a  name  for 
t  I  wanted  to  call  it  K.  C.  B.,  but  mother 
aid  that  wouldn't  be  nice  unless  you  said 
ve  could.  Do  you  mind  if  we  call  it  K.  C.  B.  ? 
[t  is  a  nice  little  puppy,  and  father  says  it 
is  a  thoroughbred.  We  are  not  going  to 
lame  it  until  you  answer  this  letter.  Your 
friend,  JANE  CLARK. 


ND  FOR  the  reason. 

THAT  YOUR  pup. 
MUST  NAMELESS  be. 

DEAR*JANE. 

*     *     * 

'UNTIL. 

YOU  GET  response. 
FRO  M^  ME. 
I  LOSE  no  time. 
IN  WRITING  you. 
TO  SAY. 

•*•         *         *• 

THAT^I'LL  be  proud. 
IF  IT  shall  bear. 
THE  NAME  you  ask. 

#         #         * 

FOR  I  do  know. 

IT  WIL1;  be  borne. 

THROUGH  ALL  the  years. 

YOUR^ PUPPY  lives. 

BY  LOYAL  friend. 

TO  YOU; 

AND  YOURS. 

AND  ALL  I  ask. 

THAT^YOU  shall  do. 

FOR  ME; 

IS  THAT*  you'll  see. 

YOUR]K.[C.B. 

IS  RIGHTLY  fed. 
AND  THAT  somewhere. 

WITHIN]HIS  reach. 

YOU'LL  PUT  a  pan. 
AND  KEEP  it  filled. 
WITH^WATER  clear. 
THAT*HE  may  drink. 
FOR  YOU  must  know. 

*         *         * 

THAT^LITTLE  pups. 
AND  GROWN  dogs. 


DEPEND. 

AS  MUCH  as  little  babes. 
UPON  THE  folks. 
WHOM  THEY  love  most. 
AND  WHEN  you  play. 
WITH  K.  C.  B. 

•**•*• 

UNTIL  HE'S  grown. 
DON'T  PULL  his  little  ears. 

AND  TAIL. 

*  *    * 

OR  STICK  your  fingers. 
IN  HIS  eyes. 
AS  LITTLE  kids. 
SO  OFTEN  do. 
AND  LISTEN,  Jane. 

I'D  SOONER  have. 

*  *     * 

THIS  NAME  of  mine. 

*  *     * 

TACKED^TO  a  dog. 
TO  ANY  dog. 

*         #         * 

THAN^TO  a  lot  of  boys. 

I'VE  SEE*N. 

*  *     * 

THROW  STONES  at  dogs. 

*  *    * 

OR  TO  a  lot  of  men. 
I  KNO*W.[ 

WHOSE  LOYALTY. 
EXTENDS  NOT  past. 
THE  THINGS  they  want. 
FOR  JUST  themselves. 
AND  JANE. 

IF  EVER  K.  C.  B. 

*  *     * 

GETS  IN  a  scrap. 
DON'T  CRY. 
UNLESS  *HE'S  licked. 
HE'S  MADE  that  way. 
IT'S  NOT  his  fault. 


I  THANK  you. 


[42] 


t  o  w  n  e 


I  GOT  all^shaved. 
AND  *SH*INED. 
AND  EVERYTHING. 
AND  WENT  up  the  hill 
TO  THE  Fairmont. 

AND  SAID. 

*  *    » 

TO  MR.  Ludwig  Van  Orden. 

*  *    * 

THE  OFFICE  manager. 


"WILL  YOU  kindly  say. 
"TO^MISS  Elsie  Ferguson. 
"THE  'OUTCAST/ 

"THAT  I*am  here." 

*  »    » 

AND  LUDDIE  said: 

*  *     * 

"I  WILL^do  that  little  thing." 

JUST  LIKE  that 

AND  HE*did. 

AND  SAID  to  me: 

"SHE  WANTS  to  know. 

"WHO*  YOU  are." 

AND  I*  told  him. 

AND  HE*said: 

"IT'S  K.  C.  B." 

AND  S*HE  said: 

"JUST  [TELL  him. 

"I  DON'T^want  any  baking  powder 

"TODAY." 

»    »    » 

AND  THEN  she  laughed. 
AND  SAID  to  Luddie: 
'TA&  COMING  right  down." 

AND  S*HE  did. 

»    *    * 

AND  AS  ^soon  as  I  saw  her. 

I  KNEW  right  away. 

*  »    *   e 

I'D  MADE  a  mistake. 

*  *    * 

I'M  A  married  man. 

»    •    • 

AND  I  used  to  belong. 
»    »    * 

TO  THE  Band  of  Hope. 

»    »    * 

AND  1^  ought  to  leave  'em  alone. 
BUT  I*  can't. 

AND  I'D  be  all  right. 

*  *    « 

IF  I  didn't  have. 


THE  INVITING  habit. 
IT  KEEPS  me  in  trouble. 
ALL  THE  time. 

I'M  ^IMPULSIVE. 

OR  WHATEVER  it  is. 
WHEN  Y*OU  take  men  home. 

TO  DINNER. 

WITHOUT  TELLING  your  wif« 
AND  RIGHT  away. 
AS  SOON  as  I  saw  her. 


"LISTEN*  ELSIE. 
"I'VE  JUST  called. 
"TO^SEEJf  you'll  go. 
"FOR  A  motor  trip. 
"ON  FRIDAY  morning." 
AND  S*HE  saic1: 
"WHY*  Y*OU  dear  little  man. 
"OF^  COURSE  I  will." 
AND  THERE  you  are. 
AND  1^  haven't  any  motor. 
AND  IT'S  the  end  of  the  week. 
AND  PAYDAY'S  Monday. 
AND  IT'S  my  party. 
AND  1^  can't  ask  Elsie. 
TO  PA  Y  *for  the  car. 

AND  I'M  married. 

»    »    • 

AND  IT'LL  be  windy. 
*    *    * 

AND  FLL  have  trouble. 
AND  EVERYTHING. 

AND  ANYWAY. 

»    »    * 

I'LL  TELL  you  about  it. 
ON  SA*TURDAY  morning. 


I  THANK  you. 


[43] 


s  s  i  p 


I  TRIED  to  borrow  a  car. 
*    *     * 
FROM  A  millionaire. 

WHO  ONLY  has  four. 

*  *     * 

AND  HE  couldn't  spare  one. 

*  *     * 

SO  I  hired  a  car. 

THAT*GOES  anywhere. 

*  *     » 

AND  WE  took  down  the  sign. 
AND  CLIMBED  up  the  hill. 

TO  THE  Fairmont  Hotel. 

*  *    * 

AND  I  went  in. 
AND  ASKED. 

*         *•         # 

FOR  MISS  Elsie  Ferguson. 

*  *    * 

AND  SHE  was  ready. 

AND  WE*  started. 

*  »     * 

AND  SHE  told  me  a  story. 
ABOUT  A  girl  friend. 

WHO  WAS  sick. 

*  »    * 

AND  POOR. 

»    *    * 

AND  LIVED  in  San  Francisco. 

AND  ASKED. 

*  *    * 

IF  WE  might  drive  around. 

TO  WHE*RE  she  lived. 

*  *    * 

AND  I  wanted  to  tell  her. 
IT  WAS  a  rent  car. 

BY  THE  hour. 

*  »    » 

BUT  SJHE  thought  it  was  mine. 

AND  I*  dfdn't. 

»    »     » 

AND  WE  drove  around. 

TO  THE  "girl's  flat. 

*  *    * 

AND  I^went  in. 

WITH^ELSIE. 

AND  WAS  introduced. 

AND  STOOD  around. 

WHILE  THEY  hugged. 

AND  KISSED. 

AND  THEY  did  it  very  well. 

FOR  GIR*LS. 

»    *    * 

AND  FOR  a  little  while. 
I  WAS^  worried. 
ABOUT  THE  car. 
BY  THE*hour. 


BUT  THE  girl. 
WAS  SO*pale. 

AND  HAPPY. 

*  *    * 

I  GOT^over  it. 
AND  WE]  talked. 

AND  LAUGHED. 

»    »    * 

AND  TOLD  stories. 
AND  AFTER  a  while. 

THE  CHEEKS  of  the  girl. 

*  *     * 

STOLE  SOME  of  the  bloom. 
»    *    * 

FROM  A  rose. 

THAT*SHE  wore. 

*  *    * 

AND  THE  sun  got  around. 

#         *         *• 

ON  ITS  western  trip. 

*  *     * 

AND  WE^  nibbled  at  crackers. 
AND  DRANK  some  tea. 
AND  THE  girl. 

THAT*WAS  sick. 

»    »    » 

SEEMED  THE  happiest  one. 

*  *    * 

OF  THE^three  of  us. 
AND  WE]  left  her  there. 

WITH  A  bloom  on  her  cheek. 

*  »     * 

AND  A  light  in  her  eye. 

AND  WENT  downstairs. 

*  *     * 

AND  GOT  in  the  car. 

*  *     * 

AND  A  gust  of  wind. 
BLEW]  A^  card. 
ONJTHE^floor. 
AND  IT  said. 
ONJTHE^card: 

"WE  GO  anywhere." 

»     »     * 

AND  ELSIE  saw  it. 
AND  DIDN'T  laugh. 


I  THANK  you. 


I**] 


ye     town  e     £  o  s  s  i  p 


TODAY  A  nation. 
•     *     . 
OF  ONE  hundred. 

MILLION  SO*ULS. 

PAYS  TRIBUTE. 

»    »    » 

TO  JTHE  men  who  made  it. 
AND  EVERYWHERE. 
IN  COUNTRY  lane. 
AND  CITY  street. 

WHERE  FLIES, 
»     »    • 

THE  STARS  and  Stripes. 
ARE  EYELIDS. 
DIM  WITH  ie*rs. 

FOR  THOSE  who  died. 
»     *    * 

AND  FOR  the  remnant. 

*  »    » 

THAT^WITH  faltering  step. 

KEEPS  TIME. 

»    *    • 

AS    BEST    ::    ;;.- 

»       *       » 

TO  FIFE  and  drum. 

»    *    * 

THAT^FIFTY  years  ago. 

LED  MEN  to  death. 

*  •    » 

AND  WIVES  to  widowhood. 

AND  STAINED. 

*  »    * 

A  LAND. 

*  •»    • 

WHERE  PEACE  has  dwelt. 

*  •    • 

FOR  ALL  time  since. 

*  *    • 

AND  IN  these  ranks. 
THAT*MARCH  today. 
ARBKOBESL 

OF  VACANT  places 

*  *    * 

THAT  TWELVE  months  ago. 

*  *    * 

WUJUL  FILLED. 

*  *    * 

WITH^FEEBLED  Teterans. 
AND  Ut  a  twelvemonth  hence^ 

STILL  OTHERS. 

*  •    • 

WILL^HAVE  passed  away. 

AND  THEN. 

»     »    * 

AT  LAST. 

*  *    * 

THE  TIME. 
WILL*COME. 
WHEN  B*UGLE  call 

'SOUND. 


AND  SOUND  again. 
AND  ECHO. 

ONLY[OUT  of  graves. 
AND  DRUMS. 
WILL  [ROLL. 

FOR  EARS. 

THAT^KEAR  them  not 
AND  SIG*HING  wind. 
WILL*SING  a  requiem. 

WHILE  YOU  and  I. 

•  »    * 

AND  YOURS  and  mine. 

SHALL  PLACE. 

WITH^ REVERENT  hand. 

UPON^THE  mounds. 

IN  WHICH. 

OUR  SOLDIERS  lie. 

A  WEALTH  of  flowers. 

•  •    • 

PLUCKED  FROM  the  soil 
THEY  LOVED. 
AND  LEFT  : 


I  THANK  you. 


ye      town 

lilllllllHIIIIlllHllimiitll! 


O  S  S   1    p 

Ilillllillllllllillllil! 


i: 


AND  THERE. 

J\_  WEREN'T  ANY  seats. 

*    »     * 

ON  THE  outside. 

*  *     * 

AND  I  went  on  the  inside. 

*  *     * 

OR  IN  the  inside. 

OR  WHATEVER  it  is. 

AND  SAT  down. 

*  •     * 

AND  THE  car  stopped. 
AT  THE  next  corner. 
AND  TWO  women  got  on. 
AND  CAME  in. 
AND  SAT  down. 
OPPOSITE  ME. 

AND  LOOKED  at  me. 

*  »     * 

AND  AT  each  other. 

*  »     * 

AND  SAID  something. 

AND  SMILED. 

AND  I  filled  my  lungs. 

FULL  OF  air. 

OR  WHATEVER  it  was. 

IN  THE  car. 

AND  SAID  to  myself: 

"THEY  KNOW  me. 

"SUCH  IS  fame." 

AND  GOT  off. 

AND  MY^red  garter. 

WAS  HANGING  down. 

OVER*MY  shoe. 

*         »         * 

AND  Infixed  it 

IN  AN*  alley. 

AND  WENT  on. 

AND  MET  William  H.  Field. 

THE  FAMOUS  de:ective. 

AND  TOLD 

WHAT  HAD  happened. 

AND  HE^ looked  at  the  garter. 

AND  SAID. 

IT  LOOKED  all  right. 

BUT  THAT  n 

WHO  WORE. 

THAT  KIND  of  garter. 


HAD  TO^have  calves. 

OR  MUSCLES. 
OR  ^SOMETHING. 

TO  KEEP  them  up. 
AND  LAUGHED. 
AND  SAID. 
I  OUGHT  to  use, 

ADHESIVE  PLASTER 
INSTEAD  OF  garters. 
AND  THE  next  morning. 
I  TRIED*it. 

*         *         * 

AND  THAT  night. 
I  HAD^  to  use. 

WARM  WATER, 

»    »    » 

TO  GET  my  socks  off. 
AND  THE  plaster. 

STUCK  TO  my  fingers. 

*    •»    • 

AND  I  had  to  tack  it. 

TO  THE  ^window  silL 

AND  BACK  away. 

AND  ITS  gong  to  stay  there. 

TILL  IT  *dries. 

AND  AFTER  this. 
»     »     « 

I'M  NOT  going  to  worry. 
ABOUT  GARTDHL 
PM *GOING  to  fix  it. 
WITH^THE  laundry. 
TO  ^STARCH  my  socks. 
SO  THEY'LL  stand  up. 
WITHOUT  HELP. 
DID^  YOU  ever  read. 
ANYTHING  SO  silly. 
IN  YOUR  life? 


I  THANK  you. 


46 


ye     tow 

Illllllllllllllllllllllllillflll! 


n  e 

I 


gossip 


I  HAVE  a<  clipping. 
IN*THE*mail. 

FROM  A  fri*end. 

»     *     * 

AND  IT  makes  me  glad. 
FOR  IT  says. 
THAT[THIS  season. 
WOMEN  ARE  going. 
TO  WEAR  spines. 

AND  HIPS. 

*  *    * 

AND  ARE  going  to  have  arms. 

AND  WAISTLINES. 

*  *    * 

AND  INSTEAD  of  slouching. 
ALONG  THE  street. 
THEY'RE  GOING  to  stand  up. 
AND  WA[LK. 
AND  TRY  to  look. 

LESS  LIKE  kangaroos. 

*  *     * 

AND  MORE  like  mothers. 
AND  SISTERS. 

AND  WIVES. 

*  *    * 

AND  SWEETHEARTS. 

AND  INSTEAD  of  tying. 

THEIR  FEET  together. 

WITH^SKIRTS. 

AND  HOPPING  along. 

THEY'jRE  GOING  to  take  steps. 

JUST  As[long. 

AS  THEIR  legs. 

WILL  [LET  them. 

OR  THEIR  limbs. 

OR  WHATEVER  they  are. 

THIS  SEASON. 

AND  THIS  winter. 

WHEN  WE  go  to  dances. 

WE'^RE  GOING  to  know. 

WH[ER[E  TO  reach. 

FOR  THE  waists. 
•    »     » 

OF  OUR  ^partners. 
AND  IT'LL  be  fine. 
AND  ALL  that. 
AND  WHILE  they're  at  it. 


Ill, 

WON'T  THE  dressmakers. 
OR  HELEN  Igoe. 

OR  [WHOEVER  it  is. 

PLEASE  VlX  it. 

SO  THAT  there'll  be  a  covering 

OR^SOMETHING. 

OVER^THE  backs. 

OF  OUR*partners. 

SO  WHEN  our  hands. 

REACH  AROUND. 

WE*W*ON'T  have. 

*    *    * 

TO  BE  careful. 
AND  BESIDES. 
WHEN  THE  Lord. 

MADE[THE  backs. 

OF  THEIR  necks. 
I  DON'T  [think. 
HE  INTENDED. 

THEY[SHOULD  reach. 

TO  THEIR  waists. 

AND  I  ask  this. 

*    »     » 

IN  THE  name  of. 

JAMES  CRAWFORD  Marmaduke. 

AND  DRV  Frank  Shaw. 

AND  A  lot  of  other  fellows. 

WHO  AREN'T  married. 

AND  WTLL  have  to  wear  mittens. 

OR  *QUIT. 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     towne      gossip 


[47] 


IF. 
*     *     * 
IN  THE^year. 

THAT'S  USHERED  in. 

TODAY. 

IT'S*  GIVEN  me. 

»    *    * 

TO  DO. 
EACH  *DAY. 

A  KINDLY  deed. 

*  *     * 

I  SHALL  be  satisfied. 

*  *     * 

IF  I  can  stand. 

»    *     * 

BESIDE  THE  road. 

*  »    * 

AND  WATCH  temptation. 
HASTEN*  ON. 
WITH^ALL  the  marks. 
OF  JOY.* 

TO  [PLACES. 

LIGHT.   * 

WITH  WHAT  seems  life. 

*  *     * 

AND  HEED  it  not. 

*  *    * 

I  SHALL  be  satisfied. 
»     *     * 

IF  I  can  smile. 

WHEN  SMILES. 

WILL  HELP  the  other  man. 

AND  LAUGH. 

WHEN  IT  will  drive. 

•**•** 

SOME  TEAR  away. 

*  »     * 

I  SHALL  be  satisfied. 

*  *     * 

IF  I  can  look. 
EACH  [DAY. 
INTO  THE  eye. 

THAT  [GREETS  me. 

WHEN  MY  work  is  done. 

*  »    » 

AND  I  am  home. 
AND  HOLD  that  look. 

WITHOUT  A  quiver. 
»    *    » 

OR  A  glance  away. 

I  SHALL*  be  satisfied. 

»    *    » 

IF  1^  can  look. 

EACH  [DAY. 

INTO  THfe  eye. 
OF  HIM. 


WHO  PAYS  me. 
FOR  THE  work  I  do. 
AND  HOLD  that  look. 
THEN*  TOO. 

I  SHALL*  be  satisfied. 

*  *     * 

IF  I  can  keep. 

THE  FRIENDSHIP. 

*  *    * 

OF  THEjnen. 
WHO  TOIL  with  me. 

*•         #         * 

AND  SEE  me  most. 
AND  ADD  to  that. 
THE  FRIENDSHIP. 

OF  *THE*others. 

»     *     * 

THAT  THE  year  will  bring. 

*  *     * 

I  SHALL  be  satisfied. 

#         *         * 

IF  HUNGRY  dog. 
OR  JOTHER  creature. 

THAT*THE  Lord  has  made. 

*  *     * 

COMES  ON  my  path. 

*  *    * 

AND  IT  is  given  me. 

*  *     * 

TO  HEAL  its  sufferings. 

*  *    * 

I  SHALL^be  satisfied. 
AND  S^O.^ 

I  SHALL  be  satisfied. 

*  *     * 

IF  I  but  merely. 

*  *     * 

DO  JTHE^things. 
I  OUGHT  to  do. 


I  THANK  you. 


[48] 

I 


n 


gossip 


I  THINK  I'm  in  bad. 
WITH  DENIS  Donohoe. 
WHO  WRITES  finance. 
OR  WHATEVER  it  is. 
FOR  "THE  Examiner." 
HE  TOOK  me  over. 
TO  SAN  Rafael. 
WHER*E  HE  lives. 
AND  WE  went  on  a  visit 

*         •*         * 

TO  SOME  neighbors. 

AND  AT  one  place. 

*  *     * 

THE  MALE  neighbor. 

WAS  SPRINKLING  the  lawn. 

AND  WA*S  called. 

*  *     # 

TO  THE  ^telephone. 
AND  HANDED  me. 

THE  HOSE. 

*  *    * 

AND  I^was  sprinkling. 
AND  I  heard  someone. 
CALL  *MY  name. 

AND  LOOKED. 

*  *    * 

AND  IT  was  Herman  Van  Luven 
IN  AN  automobile. 
AND  WHEN  I  turned. 

1  DID?"1;  pay  any  attention. 
TO  THE  host. 

AND  HIT  Denis. 

RIGHT  UNDER  the  chin. 

WITH^A#half-inch  stream. 

AND  HE  yelled. 

AND  I  turned  again. 

AND  GOT  excited. 

AND  POINTED  the  hose. 

AT  A  window. 

AND  IT  was  open. 

AN?  ^washed  a  lot  of  cnina. 

OFF  A  table. 

AND  SOMEONE  screamed. 

IN  A  soprano  voice.- 

AND  IT  added. 

TO  THE 'excitement. 


I 

AND  THERE  was  a  man. 

GOING  BY. 

AND  1^  hit  him. 

AND  HE^came  toward  me. 

AND  I*  ran. 

WITH^THE  hose. 

THERE  WERE  fifty  feet. 

AND  ON  the  porch. 

*  *     * 

OF  THE^next  house. 
THERE  WAS  a  little  baby. 
ON  JTHE*floor. 
AND  I*  hit  it. 
AND  SLUICED  it  off. 
INTO  A  window  box. 
AND  EVERBODY  yelled. 
AND  1^  turned  again. 

AND  HIT  Denis. 

*  *     * 

AND  HE^stood  up. 
ON  HIS  tiptoes. 
AND  MADE  a  dive. 
AND  SWAM  over. 
TO  WHERE  I  was. 
AND  GRABBED  me. 
AND  HELD  me. 
WHILE  THE  strange  man. 
BROKE  MY  hold. 

ON  THE*hose. 

*     *     * 

AND  LED  me  away. 

AND  WHEN  I  looked  back. 

DENIS  WAS  dragging. 

IN  THE  window  box. 

FOR  THE  baby. 

WE  HAD  an  awful  time. 


I  THANK  you. 


ye     towne     gossip 


THE  BOTHER  night. 
I  WAS  invited. 


THAT^IF  we  danced. 
OR  ^PLAYED  cards. 
WE'JD  BE  a  poor  risk. 
FOR  FIRE  insurance. 
AND  WHAT  with  this. 
AND  ALL  the  countries. 

THAT*ARE  at  war. 

PRAYING  FOR  victory. 
IN  THEIR  churches. 
EVERY  SUNDAY. 
IT  LOOKS  to  me. 
AS  THOUGH  after  a  while. 
THE  LORD. 
WOULD  GIVE  it  up. 
AND  JUST  sit  back. 

AND  SAY: 

*  *    * 

"GO  TO  it. 

*  *    * 

'™.  N*°l-   Soing  to  help. 
"EITHER  YOU. 
"OR^  THE  bear." 
AND  BESIDES. 
I  CANT?  figure  out 
WHAT'LL  HAPPEN. 
TO  J^^.Episcopalians. 
IF  THE  Methodists. 
GO  TO  Heaven. 
AND  TM^an  Episcopalian. 
AND  FM^worried. 
BECAUSE  I'D  like  to  be. 
WITHJHOSE  nurses. 
THEY'RE  NICE  girls. 


I  THANK  you. 


[50] 


ye     towne     gossip 


Dear  K.  C.  B.— Just  reverse  the  order: 
We  thank  you.  We  are  the  fellows  who  oc 
cupy  the  small  white  beds  that  are  "scat 
tered"  with  regular  order  and  position  over 
a  ward  in  the  Lane  Hospital.  All  walks  of 
life  belong  to  us— from  the  mines,  woods, 
farms  and  seas  we  come — even  a  soldier,  a 
circus  man  and  a  Jewel  City  merchant  are 
with  us.  We  speak  several  languages,  but 
we  all  belong  to  the  "Brotherhood  of  Man 
and  each  of  us  is  from  the  "University  of 
Hard  Knocks." 

Yes,  your  "gossip"  appeals  to  us,  for  wno 
doesn't  know  the  folks  you  know?  We  know 
our  old  friends  as  you  drag  them  out  of  the 
printers'  ink  each  day— that's  the  reason  we 
like  you  and  them.  To  you  we  extend  an 
invitation  to  call  and  see  us,  on  view  every 
evening  from  7  to  8,  four  matinees  a  week, 
Tuesdays,  Thursdays,  Saturdays  and  Sun 
days,  2  to  4,  no  music,  no  flowers,  no  col- 
lection.  Con*  and  brin*  J^f""* 

Medical  Ward,  Lane  Hospital. 

I  DON'T  know  Joe. 
*     *     * 
BUT  I  do  know. 

THE  ROWS*. 

*  *    * 

OF  SMALL  white  beds. 

*  *     * 

BACK  IN  my  memory. 

»     *     * 
I  SEE  them  now. 

EACH*ONE. 

*  »    * 

WITH  COUNTERPANE  deformed. 

*  *     * 

TO  SUIT  the  mood. 

»    *    * 

OR  EASE  the  pain. 
«     *     * 

OF  SUFFERER. 

*  »    * 

I  SEE  them. 

*  *     * 

AS  THE  sun  streams  in. 

»     *     * 

AND  IN  the  shadows. 

*  »     * 

OF  THE  night. 
»    *    * 

AND  IN  the  early  morn. 

WHEN  LIFE. 

*  *     » 

IS  AT  its  lowest  ebb. 
AND  ALL  the  world. 
SEEMS  GRAY. 
AND  COLD. 
I  SAW^  them,  Joe. 
ONE  TIME. 
WHEN  I^came  back. 
FRCn/JOURNEY. 
THAT  I  took. 

TO  SHADED  vale. 

*  *    * 

THAT  MARKED  the  line. 


THAT  ALL  of  us. 

SOME*DAY. 

MUSTJPASS. 

AND  I^know. 

WHAT  IT  is. 

AND  WHAT  of  gloom. 

SEEMS  ALL  about. 

AND  WHAT  of  cheer. 

SOME  LITTLE  thing. 

WILL  BRING. 

#        #         * 

AND  IF  it  is. 
THAT*I  have  helped. 
TO  MAKE  the  hours. 

OF  YOURSELF. 

*  *    * 

AND  OF  the  circus  man. 
SEE*M  JUST  a  bit 
MORE*  CHEERFUL. 
THAN^THEY  might  have  been. 
THEN^I  am  glad. 
AND  IF  it  is. 
THAT  j:  may  help. 

A  LITTLE  more. 

*  *     * 

I'LL  COME  some  night. 

*  *    * 

ORJTO  a^  matinee. 
I'VE  GOT  a  story. 
THAT*WAS  told  me. 
BY  A  traveling  man. 

I'LL  TELL  it. 

*  *    * 

TO  THE  circus  man. 

AND  YOU. 

*  *    » 


I  THANK  you,  Joe. 


[51] 


WKat  We  Sa\v  at  Madame 
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B;9  ELIZABETH  GORDON 

CHARMING  letters  from  fhe  twins  at  trie 
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and  over. 

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four  colors. 

A  timely  gift  book. 


Price  $1.25 

"Wherever  Books  are  Sold" 


Samuel  Levinson,  Publisher^ 
San  Francisco 


linn 


"I 


Gaylam< 


Gaylord  Bi 

Stocktc 
T.  M.  ReQ. 


LIBRARY  USE 

TO  DESK  FROM  WHICH  BORROWED 


LD62-10m-2  '71 
(P2003slO)9412-A-32 


.General  Library 

University  of  California 

Berkeley 


